I still love technology

Yes i love technology

But not as much as you, you see

But i still love technology

Always and Forever

[lyrics by Kip Dynamite]

Computers officially hate me. Just thought you should know this. For awhile it was just a theory, but it has now become fact.

My personal laptop died the day after I moved in February. And my desktop computer at work is in the application process for a hospice program. I have fallen way behind in my blog reading because when I click on certain blogs all of my internet windows will shut down. Simultaneously.
Generally if a blog has music or a video that plays automatically, I cannot access the blog without certain and imminent death to my screen. The screens freeze then close out.

Also, I can only gchat at a bare minimum before my computer is overwhelmed. Unacceptable.

I have the oldest version of every possible program and no hope of any IT guy fixing my computer or updating my programs. Why you ask? Thank you for asking. The programs I need to do my actual work are not affected. And the IT guys I've met aren't cute or hunky anyways. I know that was your next question. Our minds think alike.

Do any of you loyal followers have useful suggestions or funny insights?
As of now I see my options as follows:

1. make sure to back up all my files and then wait for a slow and painful computer death.
2. make sure to back up all my files and then pour coffee into my computer by mistake.
3. make sure to back up all my files and then take the computer tower out back and beat it with an aluminum baseball bat. Oh and I'll take care of this crappy-arse-excuse-for-a-printer-that-actually-sounds-like-a-cat-lives-inside-and-prints-pages-at-its-leisure while I'm at it.

Check it

there is a lot going on over at OWN IT these days.
The ladies are posting about our dignity and worth and beauty as women. But our culture seems to promote negative self-images and self-loathing. So clickity-click on over to OWN IT, watch the videos, and join us in owning it, showing it off, and making it sparkle.

And if you are wondering what "it" is... see above... it is your dignity, worth, beauty, and amazingness. Obvi.

skipping town

That's right. I am taking a trip.

I'm leaving town right before Thanksgiving and travelling around the world for 10 days. Or something like that. My little brother is all growed up now and has been living in India (not to be confused with Indiana) since July 2008. And I am finally going to go visit him. One month before he moves back to NY.

I bought my ticket two days ago and now I have to wonder... is India ready for me? Watch for me in upcoming Bollywood films bc prob some famous Indian actor/director/producer will scoop me up and want me to lead a spontaneous-coordinated-dance-scene while singing like a bird taking flight on a sweet summer morn. Obvi.

Before I leave, I have ever so much planning to do. Get a visa, shots, malaria meds, and figure out what to pack. This last task will be the greatest obstacle for me. I mean, what does one wear when travelling across the world to visit one's brother and planning to be discovered by Bollywood and then most def attending multiple red carpet events and galas as the newest star in Bollywood? Do I need ball gowns? Should I wait and buy them during my trip so I don't have to pack them? How will I do my hair? What color nail polish will I need to bring? Guchi Muchi Puchi? Expose Your Toes? Starter Wife? Oh the color options are endless.

Ok and one more dilemma... and this is weighing heavy on my mind. Night and day. What will I do with all of the inevitable suitors? As a foreigner I feel quite conflicted about stealing and then subsequently breaking the hearts of countless Indian men. It seems unfair to these men and also to the innocent women to whom they rightfully belong. The truth is, I just have too many suitors as it is and can't take on any more at this time. As the saying goes, my dance card is full. I will attempt to address the issue head on before it gets out of hand. But how? Do I cease all waxing, tweezing, and threading for the next two months in hopes of making myself look so sicknast I will repel men? Do I cover my gorgeous locks with the ugliest $5 street scarf I can locate as a disguise (oh that might work here in NYC for papa razzi as well...)? Do I walk around with my brother arm in arm and pretend he is my significant other? Do I have the stomach for that nonsense? Or do I have a t-shirt made up ahead of time that says "my dance card is full" on the front, and "your heart will go on" on the back?

As you can probably guess, I will have a lot on my mind these next two months until launch. And I will try to prepare you for my absence as best I can by appointing guest bloggers to fill the gap, dry your tears, and settle your soul.

beard today, gone tomorrow

Monday Monday... oh yes I am back at work and assuming you are as excited as I am that it is once again Monday. The weekend has come and gone. I am sore in more muscles than I never knew existed. Get your mind out of the gutter, I went hiking. That's all. Hiking. I scaled a mountain if you must know. And my body won't let me forget it.

Anywho, as it is Monday and it is a less than cheery day I thought I'd offer a little story time. This is the beard story I promised on Friday. So cuddle up and get lost in the magical land of the Upper Eastside.........

Ok so once upon a time, I went on a few dates with this guy who had a beard. I'm not a fan of beards nor have I ever been. But I thought this guy was worth getting to know and tried to get past the beard, plus it wasn't a huge scraggly beard anyways and looked ok on him. And so I ignored the beardedness before my very eyes. We went out multiple times. And I forgot all about my beard hatred. I grew to appreciate my date, beard and all.

But, and you knew there had to be a but, then it happened. Kissing. Kissing happened. The beard felt so bizarre and it threw me for a loop. It distracted me from one of my favorite sports. The nerve!

As the open-minded and patient person that I am, I didn't let it get to me. I said to myself, "self, this is a minor setback. Next time you will know what to expect and will not be distracted."

But, yes another but, then I got home. And I put my jammies on and I sat on the couch and said to my roomies, "what is that smell??". And they were all, "what smell"? And I was like, "I smell something awful, what is that!? Ewwww".

Ok and do you want to know what the smell turned out to be? Brace yourself bloggers.

It was my face. My upperlip had retained this disgusting stank from beard-boy's beard. I had to wash my face to get rid of the odor. Sicknast!!!!!!

And furthermore, I went out with beard-boy one more time. I was in such disbelief that I convinced myself that this had to be a one time thing, his beard couldn't always reek. Could it? Yes, it could. On the last date I even smelled the beard while sitting beside him. And when he kissed me I was just thinking "eww no, eww no".

Well, I think I must've given off some "I really don't like being close to you or kissing you" sort of a vibe because beard-boy never called me again. I couldn't help but be sort of offended. I was all prepared to turn him down for a date and he didn't even call me to give me the chance. Can you believe that?

Mark my words, I will never date another man with facial hair.

I don't care if Eduardo Verastegui asks me out. I will not put myself thru that again. Although, I'm sure Eduardo would shave for me. And put on a suit and tie.

It's really not so much to ask.

The End.

cupid we don't need you now, be on your way

A few days ago, I received an email with a link to this blog post, "Marry a man who loves you more than you love him". I finally read the post this morning and want to share my thoughts. If you have time read the post and let me know what you think.

I think it makes a lot of sense. Personally, I hope to eventually find a balance thru my scientific method of trial and error. A strong connection with a cute uptown man who has a strong and admirable character. AKA it can't be just the passionate connection with a dude lacking in character, nor can it be a relationship where the man has a crap ton of moral character but there is like and not love. Do you follow?

My fave part of the post is when the author said:
"A relationship that starts at the peak with an all-consuming passion has a higher risk of burning out quickly. It is my belief that a relationship that starts on a strong foundation of moderate love, mutual respect, shared beliefs and tolerance has a greater potential of growing better each day…just like fine wine.

As the saying goes... I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow." [also pseudo lyrics to a good song, also my title, obvi]

I like the quote bc I do think that the fiery passion can burn out and so it is not enough to stand alone. A strong foundation to stand on is a necessity. But you also need to love each other and each other's personality traits even without the passion. Head and heart must be balanced. With all of this in place then yes it prob works well if the man love the woman a wee bit more than she loves him.

Ok so what do you think?? What do you want and/or what works for you?

Sans beard, this is what I want in my future...
<3 UG

ps- remind me to tell you why I can't be with a bearded man. it makes a good story. one of those "you will laugh about this one day" stories.

gift me

Feel free to buy me this t-shirt from etsy (in size Medium). And I promise that if I pair it with that skirt I will also don some leggings. You have my word. Word.

Uptown Critic

Oh hi there, today I will review movies I've recently seen either in the theatre or on Netflix. And then, knowing my opinion matters most, you will know what to see and what to avoid. You're welcome.

All About Steve

pros: Bradley Cooper, crossword puzzle talk, great quote pertaining to crosswords and any challenge "Is it solvable? Is it entertaining? Does it sparkle?"

cons: terrible story, annoying, painful, increasingly ridiculous and not in a good way.

Uptown Grade: D as in Don't Bother. And you know its gotta be bad if Bradley Cooper is in it and I'm still saying Don't Bother.

Taken

pros: Liam Nieson, lots of kicking a$$ and taking names, interesting story, exciting, enthralling, made me want to fire my body guard and hire Liam Nieson as my personal protector.

cons: the ending didn't wow me and I think the writers should've contacted me to write a better ending for them; disturbing concepts re: things going on in the world that I usually try not to think about.

Uptown Grade: A as in Awesome Blossom. Rent it asap.

Sunshine Cleaning

pros: great acting (Amy Adams & Emily Blunt, et al), writing, interesting and compelling story that draws you in and keeps you interested, made me cry multiple times but not so much that my eyes were puffy the next day.

cons: a couple of odd and disturbing scenarios/adult scenes.
Uptown Grade: A- as in Awesome minus the Blossom. Rent it.

Last Chance Harvey

pros: good writing, story about a dead-beat-ish dad who is trying to redeem himself and this one also had me crying but not enough to get puffy-eyed. Sacot. Dustin Hoffman & Emma Thompson= great acting.

cons: not majorly compelling

Uptown Grade: B+ as in Basic plus part two parts Brill. Rent it eventually.