1-11-11

oh, hi New Year.

My New Year's Rezzies this year are as follows:

1- Dental care. I will take better care of my teeth and see a dentist.

2- Skin care. I will not let myself become a wrinkled mess at age 30. I will remove make-up before bed always. I will moisturize and use anti-aging creams.

3- Finances. Oh money. I will spend less and save more. Or spend more wisely? Something. Guess I need to sit down with my financial advisor and set a better budget for 2011. Don't want to blow my billions on champagne and ice this year. That's

sooo 2010.

4- I will make amends. With my Uptown Girl Followers. aka you.

UPTOWN APOLOGY & CONFESSION (excuse):

It is hard for me to write and blog when I try to filter myself. I don't like to be guarded with you. I like to spill all my beans and then some. I like to gab away like a teenager loitering outside 7/11 at midnight. Yet, I've been hesitant. I'm not ready to tell you all the deets about mi vida as of late. And when I'm filtering I just have nothing to say slash I clam up slash I get a little writer's block.

I know it's hard to believe that I have this one-and-only flaw.

I'm SO sorry for deserting blogland at large and in particular my 53 loyal followers.

I've been uber caught up in my off-the-grid happenings (dating) that I've neglected to blog... I have thought about what to tell the blogosphere about my boy without disclosing his exact name and address.

LIMITED DISHING:

To start, this is his blog-protected name and addy:

Uptown Boyfriend

UpperWest Sweet Street
New York, NY <3<3

I've been dating a wonderful man. He lives Uptown. Obvi. Would you expect anything less else? Oh, and in case you're wondering - which I know you are - he is NOT the secret admirer-stalker that lives in my building. That would be too cliche in a romantic horror movie way.

I prefer to be cliche in a romantic comedy way. Just call me Sentimental-Susie. That's not my name, but you can still call me that if you want to.

mtg all of 30 rock

yeah. I am meeting the cast of 30 Rock... one comedian at a time.
Maybe next will be that cute new guy.
Here's hoping!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.3.4

enjoy your weekend...

And enjoy this commercial. I'm sold.

I may be in love. L-O-V-E.

another starstruck fan

Story of my life. I can't go anywhere, (and I mean anywhere) without being recognized and approached by my public. This is the life of an Uptown Girl, I get it. But it doesn't mean that I'm immune to the pressures of my role as the most famous New York socialite. Once in awhile it'd be nice to simply blend in- to be an 'everyman', one of the little people. A girl can dream.

Friday night I went out to a birthday party for my dear friend across town followed by another social engagement downtown. I do leave the Upper Eastside on occasion, don't be so surprised. The quickest way to get from place to place was the subway, so I gave my driver the night off and dove right in to this underground adventure.

On the subway I was noticed right away of course. I even happened to bump into a fellow celeb. How refreshing, right?!?

Here I am with Scott Adsit of 30 Rock, and my friend (another Uptown Girl). Turns out Scott was pretty excited by the encounter and wanted to take a pic with us.

Here we are walking and talking in the subway station. I gave him some advice and lent him a few of my jokes. I do keep a few jokes and words of wisdom up my sleeve for emergencies such as this. I predict that, as a direct result of our chance encounter, Scott's career at 30 Rock will soar to even higher heights. Obvi. I'm pretty much a good luck charm.

But, I'm not gonna lie... meeting this funny comedian man was not-so-secretly the highlight of my eventful and fab weekend. Also, Scott is better looking in person than on the show. Cute. I fell in love and I told him so. But, alas, he is out of my self-imposed age range and his train was clearly not on it's way to the Upper Eastside. I think we all know what that means.

2010 Rezzies

My list of 2010 New Year's Rezzies

1- I would like to grow an inch or 2. Contrary to what that mean, nasty, vile scale tells me, I am not overweight. I am simply under-height.

2- I will kiss a handsome man this year. Actually, make that a swoon-worthy man. Over at the Brunette Brigade I was reminded that kissing is an important part of any new year. Obvi.

3- I will get my very own NetBook. You know, one of those teensy tiny laptop computers. That way I can blog more often and with ease. Also I can read your blogs on the regular and comment like the madwoman that I am.

[Isn't this blinged out glittery cover to die for? B-A-N-A-N-A-S]

Feel free to keep me on task with these rezzies via reminders and NetBook suggestions and/or kindly introducing me to that swwonworthy fellow. Happy 2010 Blogizzle! Fo shizzle!

Man-ifesto

For the 1-2 men who may or maynot be reading my girly blog (you know you love me)...
please see this ad.

And the rest of you ladies should check it out too because I loved it. You will too. Obvi.

I don't care if you actually purchase anything from the company. Whatevskis. I just like the message. Because I like men. So sue me.

Oh yeah, in case you haven't clicked the link yet, I should tell you that it is a bit controversial and un-pc. It is Docker's Man-ifesto if you must know. Check it out and don't forget to stop back here to share your thoughts on manhood, men wearing the pants, and the lack of cute men to ogle on the Docker's website.

ps- my favorite line is:

"WE NEED MEN TO PUT DOWN THE PLASTIC FORK, STEP AWAY FROM THE SALAD BAR AND UNTIE THE WORLD FROM THE TRACKS OF COMPLACENCY. IT'S TIME TO GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY."

McGregor

[Thanks to Ann for this pic. It is right up my alley.]

I was recently introduced to the film Moulin Rouge

(although I had seen random scenes and learned the music by heart years ago).

.

I am now addicted to singing, humming, and listening to the music.

.

As I daydream about you know who.

Oh, you don't know who??

It is none other than my beloved Scot, Ewan.

Those eyes, that voice, that accent...

Watch Ewan pronounce McGregor at the 45 second mark of this interview.

Even his name becomes uber dreamy. Swooncity. Droolable.

Have a tissue on hand.

For Ewan McGregor,

I would happily become a courtesan dying of tuberculosis...

who wouldn't??

hunt for black leather october

As the Uptown Girl that I am, I of course need to set the example for fall fashion. My public looks to me for guidance in this very department (among other/all departments), obvi. But, blogger friends, I have a tiny confession to make.

Please brace yourself and try not to think less of me when you read this...


I am in need of boots. And a new purse. Shocking, I know.


I'd like some flat boots that hit mid-calf. Although I'd like them in a yummy reddish-brown color, it seems more practical for my everyday sophistication to instead seek and purchase black boots*. Leather. Do you ever go into Aldo's or some other shoe store that sells loads of leather boots and just go around smelling all that real leather? Neither do I. That would be weird.


As for the purse, I'd like something practical while still chic. The problem with my current collection is that my bags are either too big or too small, and those that are the right size are too heavy for my dainty frame even when empty (and i do tend to carry way too much crap in my purse regardless of size). Like Goldilocks, I'm looking for a bag that is just right. Right size, neutral color, convenient pockets, and impeccable style.

What I've researched via online shopping has been very promising. But I want to try on the boots before buying, and see the quality of both the boots and purse in real life. I just don't trust that the item will be as spectacular in person as it is in the airbrushed online photo. And my feet are a work of art. Original and in need of that perfect fit. I developed a new habit awhile back in which I do not buy shoes unless they fit well and are comfortable. It has drastically changed my shoe shopping and my closet.



I also do not buy a shoe or any accessory or piece of clothing unless I love it. When I'm in that dressing room admiring myself in some outfit I'm trying on in the 3-way mirror, I often remark "like-not-love". That determines whether or not I will make the purchase. I grew sick and tired of buying and then not wearing. Tired of seeing that item that I liked-not-loved when I tried it on and trying to find a time to wear it but instead growing frustrated with the waste of money, time, and space, and the growing dust on said item.



This brings me back to my oh-so-important point. I adore the boots you see below! I originally saw them on Say yes to Hoboken. They are Victoria's Secreat. And catalog/online ONLY. Is it worth the risk of ordering the boots and then having to send them back? I am not so great at that returning items in the mail part. They are beautiful though, even if I can't try them on, even if they are much higher on the leg than what I'm hoping to find. To buy or not to buy online? To risk or not to risk? That is the question. What is your opinion?

[these boots are so yummylicious! i swoon. i die.]

Please feel free to give me links and/or leads to any boots and/or purses that you think I will love. I plan on taking time out of my hectic schedule to smell a lot of leather shop this weekend and would really like a successful hunt.

*keep in mind that I wear a lot of black, never chocolate brown, and occasionally red-brown, tan, or beige.

real life meeting

No joke this time. I hung out with Eduardo Verastegui on Saturday night. I guess you could say it was sort of like a date. You'd be lying, but you could say that.

It was a room full of people. He and his peeps from Metanoia Film did a pitch. They talked about their movies, their mission, and their need for investors. There was no private time per se, but I did get to have a couple of convos with Eduardo. He is the Brad Pitt of Mexico, did you know that? Just checking.

My plan was this: meet Eduardo and kiss him. The kiss was meant for science and for you, my public. So that we would know once and for all if all beards smell like old cheese. So, obvi, my plan was airtight. Like tupperware.

And he wore a suit and tie. You know I love a man who wears a suit. I can't help myself, it is part of my genetic code.

But, alas, Eduardo had shaved (in my honor)! This really threw me for a loop. I mean, the whole point of the kiss was to do a beard smelling test. Without a beard there would be no point at all. The kiss would've been in vain. I think you know where I'm going with this: I had no choice but to reject Eduardo's many shameless advances.

Also, as handsome and hunky as he really truly is, Eduardo isn't my type. Yes, he is physically my type (suit-wearing-man), but personality-wise it just wasn't there.

However, the night wasn't a total bust. As a matter of fact, it was sweetness. I had fun eating, drinking, and freezing my bootie off with the ladies while we gawked at and talked to the Mexican Brad Pitt. Can I just add that Mexican Brad is way cuter than American Brad? Its the truth.

We also met the other guys on the team at Metanoia Film. I was impressed by their mission to produce decent films and combine art and morality. They want people to leave the theatre after seeing their movies "wanting to love more and judge less". If I hadn't recently invested millions elsewhere I would be game for backing one of Metanoia's upcoming projects, because I was def inspired by their vision. But, alas, I try not to stretch myself too thin.

.

.

[I know what you are thinking: why didn't Uptown Girl post any pics of her beardless Eduardo encounter? Well, it was an intimate evening and, as such, my personal photographers the papa razzi did not attend. But don't worry, one of my girlfriends should have a pic or two on her camera, and as soon as she shares them with me I will share them with you. Because sharing is caring.]

100th post. what?!

Please prepare yourself for a multi-topical post. Because it is my blogizzle. Because it is my 100th post. Because I like to write a lot. Because I can. So go ahead, mentally prepare. Get ready.

set.

GO.

Topic numero uno: Bye Bye Love(y).

Bye bye, Lovey. Bye bye, happiness. Hello, loneliness. I think I'm a-gonna cry-y.

You read that right. Lovey is leaving. Leaving me. To travel to a far off land while I am here in the greatest city in the world. What is that about? I mean, serio, I don't see how she will even enjoy the trip at all knowing that I am here living it up in the big golden delicious apple. My prediction is this: Lovey will return to NYC with a greater appreciation for the Upper Eastside, and with a suitcase full of souvenirs and jewelry for her fave roomies (namely me), never to leave again.

Topic numero dos: Have you met McSteamy?

If your name is Elaine, then I know the answer is yes.

This is Eric Dane. But you already knew that. Sadly, Mr. Dane has a beard. You know how I feel about beards and their rankocity. I would be willing to find out if McSteamy's beard is McSmelly or not, for the purposes of science and for your benefit, of course.

And he will have to wear this suit for the scientific stank-o-meter kiss, or no dice. obvi, I don't kiss just anyone you know.

Topic numero tres: Leaving on a jet plane.

I'm leaving on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go.

That is a lie. I know when I'm coming back. Remember, I'm going to India at the end of November because I want to celebrate Thanksgiving the way it was intended- pilgrims and Indians together. My ancestors were pilgrims (yes, Mayflower and all), so I will go to India and do it right this year. Also to be with my brother and see the whole world.

I've been mulling over an assortment of thoughts and ideas and preparations that have to be thought thru before my trip. Today I'm mostly thinking about how to pack.

I will be travelling alone, so I really can't bring too many suitcases. Let's be honest here, how will I go to the bathroom in the airport if I'm lugging multiple suitcases? That has been my latest reoccurring nightmare.

Its like this..... I'm sleeping, like a baby, all curled up in the fetal position, comfy cozy with my carebear (vintage), when suddenly I am in the airport in Brussels for my layover. I'm trying to simultaneously roll two large suitcases behind me while eating Pepperidge Farm cookies, brussels (and oh are they delish or what?). It is really quite difficult, but I'm all proud that I can multi-task so well and do three things with only two arms. I'm walking thru the airport thinking about what a powerful world-travelling, multi-tasking, cookie-loving woman I have become. Quintessential Uptown Girl moment.

Dun-dun-dun.

And this is where the nightmare part comes in... all of a sudden I have to pee. Like really really have to go immediately. My bladder feels like it is about to burst. And I rush to the nearest bathroom (WC in a Brussels airport of course) worrying about where I will lodge my suitcases once inside. But I can't even get thru the WC door with my suitcases. I have become a wide load. And then in the dream I am suddenly being led and followed by "Wide Load" trucks with the blinking lights that lead those made to order houses when they travel on the highway. They are trying to lead me to another bathroom that can fit me with my luggage. But it is in the wrong terminal and I'm nervous that I'll pee my pants or miss my flight or something.

And then I wake up. And realize I have to go use the restroom.

What do you think this means?? Am I just nervous about travelling? Am I drinking too much aguita before bed? Is it a sign that I should travel light? Am I feeling fat? The world may never know.

Topic numero quatro: I wrote 100 posts. You're Welcome.

How did that even happen? I went from not being so into blogging and complaining that my sister wanted me to write a real post for her blog, to writing a zillion (ok 100) posts for my own fabulous blogizzle. Yowza.

Thank you for joining me on my journey. Keep coming back for the next 100!

xoxo,

Uptown Girl

cupid we don't need you now, be on your way

A few days ago, I received an email with a link to this blog post, "Marry a man who loves you more than you love him". I finally read the post this morning and want to share my thoughts. If you have time read the post and let me know what you think.

I think it makes a lot of sense. Personally, I hope to eventually find a balance thru my scientific method of trial and error. A strong connection with a cute uptown man who has a strong and admirable character. AKA it can't be just the passionate connection with a dude lacking in character, nor can it be a relationship where the man has a crap ton of moral character but there is like and not love. Do you follow?

My fave part of the post is when the author said:
"A relationship that starts at the peak with an all-consuming passion has a higher risk of burning out quickly. It is my belief that a relationship that starts on a strong foundation of moderate love, mutual respect, shared beliefs and tolerance has a greater potential of growing better each day…just like fine wine.

As the saying goes... I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow." [also pseudo lyrics to a good song, also my title, obvi]

I like the quote bc I do think that the fiery passion can burn out and so it is not enough to stand alone. A strong foundation to stand on is a necessity. But you also need to love each other and each other's personality traits even without the passion. Head and heart must be balanced. With all of this in place then yes it prob works well if the man love the woman a wee bit more than she loves him.

Ok so what do you think?? What do you want and/or what works for you?

Sans beard, this is what I want in my future...
<3 UG

ps- remind me to tell you why I can't be with a bearded man. it makes a good story. one of those "you will laugh about this one day" stories.

the many suits of David Boreanaz

Have I mentioned to you the small fact that I have a new boyfriend? Well, it will most likely be public knowledge soon enough because the paparazzi found us canoodling last night at a cozy little bistro here in New York.

[the above may or maynot be the complete and unbiased truth, you will have to use your judgement to decide whether you think I am out of this man's league]

I've compiled a few personal photos that I would like to share. The purpose of this swoon - and the reason I am encouraging you to swoon over my man - is to reinforce the lesson we've already learned. That men look best in suits.

Here he is, my boyfriend David Boreanaz in various suits...

Make no Bones about it, the man looks delish in his dark suit with a blue shirt. I would swear that he is looking thru me.

Heaven must be missing an Angel. His grey pinstripe suit is just darling on my darling.

Oh Davie, so debonair in your black suit with a black tie. Where are you taking me tonight? Do I need to get red carpet ready?

As most formal events these days are "black tie optional", I thought I'd also share a pic of my David in another suit...
.

.

.

his birthday suit.

Minnesoooooooooota

I'm back in NYC due to popular demand.

I'm sorry I didn't post anything yesterday like I said I would... oops. I didn't really account for the laziness jetlag that hit me. It took a lot of effort to do my work. And I have a lot of catching-up to do at work, and also in blogland. I have ever so many posts to read on your blogs. Yes, I fell behind. Funny how far away I felt without the internet.

I will post again very soon to give you a full update and lots of details about my trip. But first I have to do some work. So sad, I know.

Don't worry though, because I am posting 1 little pic for you to swoon over....

Minnesota Glamour Girls: mary & me

what the Fritz?

The Closer Season 5 has come to an end. Closed for the season. And it is a sad state of affairs. I am going thru the typical withdrawl symptoms: can't make myself get to bed at a decent hour sleep, can't stop eating ice cream eat, and can't stop drooling when I think about Fritz. Obvi. I know you feel my pain. bleh... sob... wipe a tear.


Luckily, I do have the great ability to watch re-runs and old seasons on the world wide web and on DVD. Yay for Netflix! And, of course, I have the great honor of being able to google-image pics of my hot mess... also known as Jon Tenney... also known as Fritz Howard. Fritzie!!



Here. He. Is:

Fritz looks good in his suit. His little FBI get-up. His intense look says, "You are a difficult woman, but I have what it takes to deal with you. And I will deal with you. And in a loving way. And you won't walk all over me. No fear." On the show his look says this to Brenda, but in real life/my imagination he is saying this to me. And to you, and to every woman he melts.

Look at that face... oooh Fritzie.

Fritz has single-handedly blown my 'babs' theory to bits. Almost. The fact that he is just a character on tv and not a real man is the only thing that keeps babs intact. The only thing. And, yes, babs is going strong.

Young Jon Tenney in a tux. A tux! Uh huh. Aww yeah. Swoon.

Fritzie likes my blogizzle. Who doesn't? It makes him smile. And laugh. And swoon.

Can you think of any character that is a better example of what a man should be? And in the same mostly-realistic way that Fritz exemplifies swoonability?

Feel free to help me with these captions. I know they are lacking. And I apologize for the lack of shirtless pics, google-images deprived us all. Or maybe Fritz is just that modest?

DO NOT READ ME

There will be no swoon here today. And no incredible noteworthy post. But, there there, don't cry little one. I have good news to share. Because sharing is caring. Secrets don't make friends, and friends don't make secrets (a certain someone recites that to me often and I have yet to figure out what she means... but I digress).

There are important things happening in Blogland today. Please make sure you are seated with your seat belt fastened and your tray table in the upright position.

By the power of Graystone, may I present JUNE 'THE SWOON' CLEAVER!!!!!!

Yeah, click the link. She's back on the scene, and since I haven't posted any swoony pics this past week, I guess June realized it was time to get back to work. It's a hard job, more of a calling really, but someone has to do it.

Oh and btw, I lied.

I'm giving in and posting one little swoony pic to prepare you for the real swoon.

You're welcome.

Swoonless Tuesday

Hello my public. Uptown Fandom at large please hear this:
(*uptown disclaimer at bottom of post*)

I am not posting a swoon today.

No hot steamy pic to drool over. Nope. Not happening.

So (Lovey & June) if that is the only reason we are friends... well I just don't know what to tell you. Maybe I should start by listing better reasons for you to read my blogizzle in addition to my wanna-be-swoons:


-I have interesting insights into pretentious new york city living.

-I condescend to associate with you online.

-I am amazing.

-You can live vicariously thru my high-class world of taxis and mani-pedis and beer champagne.

-I come up with new Uptownese Urban Slang that you should be studying daily.

-I think I'm hilarious and you should think so, too.

-I practice the fine art of being a virtual snob and debutante.

-I am fetch. Everything about me is fetch and fabulous.

-You know you love me.

-I will one day be Empress and rule the world. You may be in running to be one of my Ladies in Waiting if you play your cards right.


I will gently suggest that you soak up all of my insightful posts and be grateful they exist.

And if you need a swoon real real bad... well, June? Are you going to post one for us sometime in the near future? Because everyone should know that I only post wanna-be-swoons. What do I mean by wanna-be?? Thank you for asking. My little swoony swoons are little bits of drivel that I post from time to time to help fill the void until June 'The Swoon' Cleaver is back in business. Her swoons are on a different level. If you don't believe me you should just click her link on my sidebar. Obvi. But you should know that June, too is deeper than her swoon-abilities. She has a lot to teach us all about this great big world, about being a mom, and about the effects of beer.

Ok Lovey & June, be my guest and post your own swoonable pics. Because I can only spend so much time searching for said pics while drooling at work. I will prob post them tomorrow... time will tell.
I hope that you will come back to my blog for me and my hottness rather than for the hotties I post. They are just a bonus. Fo shizzle my nizzle lemon drizzle. And please, don't make me cut you.

*DISCLAIMER: Have you heard of pms? Pre-, Post-, or Participating- Madness Syndrome. Right, well I may or may not be operating on an influx of hormones given to me by this Madness. Go ahead and guess. Make my day.*

McUptown?

2nd on Lovey's list of McHotties.... Patrick Dempsey. Lovey stated in her rant that I must post pics of these men without shirts. ummmm can you say scandalous?? Scan to the Da to the Lous. She then reminded me in real life about her intense virtual need to virtually view shirtless chests, abs, and arms. I got scolded. Not virtually scolded. Real life scolded. Can you even imagine??. I will repent.



But, first let's go thru the little checklist of Uptown Boy Requirements and see if Patrick meets our blogging needs, shall we??



Piercing eyes? check.

Full head of hair? check.

Wide endearing smile? check.

Looks good in scrubs? check.

Nice teeth? check.

Adores me? check check.

Shirtless photo available on Google Images? check.



Ok, well technically McDreamy meets all the requirements for becoming an Uptown Boy. However, maybe you should be the judge bc when I glance at those blue eyes I lose my train of thought.

McPreppy here looks like boy next door trying to pull off a Rob Pattinson bouffant in his blue button-down stripey shirt. Oh, you didn't notice any of that did you? You were staring at his eyes? You got lost at sea? That's what I thought.

Here, Pat is posing especially for me. Obvi, he reads the blogizzle and knows to look good in a suit if he wants to get featured. Well done Patty Pat Pat. However, you're really disappointing Lovey. She said shirtless. ShirtLESS. Lovey, can you go help him with that concept?

Yikes stripes fruit striped gum. McDreamy is McViolated. He said he'll show the arms but no more. Patrick is such a brooder sometimes.

Is this better? Aww, McDreamy is McNervous around you Lovey! As you can tell from the first pics, our boy is much more comfy in his nice button down shirts. Modest mouse that he is.

He finally gave in just to take this 1 picture for the blogizzle. And we appreciate it, don't we?

Now, please answer my original question. Does McDreamy have what it takes to be an Uptown Boy? Is he Mr. McUptown?

what a Bratt!

Back by popular request: a more formal swoony swoon.
Lovey is quite upset that I teased her the way I did yesterday. She wanted to see a picture of a man, not a pizza. Some ppl are picky like that...

Lovey commented on the pizza-swoon-post and gave a little list of her demands requests.

In an attempt to keep my day job, I can only search for pics of these men 1-at-a-time. Otherwise it is way too distracting and time consuming. And my coworkers complain when I'm drooling too much at my desk. I'm sure you can imagine what I'm talking about. Lamespice.

Starting at the top of Lovey's list is Benjamin Bratt. While I'm not personally his biggest fan, I do see the appeal. The back story is this. He used to be with Julia Roberts. He broke up with Julia to pursue me. I didn't like him like that. The chemistry wasn't there. I mean, he's a sweetie and he bought me lots of flowers and dinners. But I'm just not that into him. I tried to let him down easy by giving him a copy of the book "He's Just Not That Into You", but he didn't get the hint and stepped up his game. Next, I bought him Seasons 1-6 of "The Wonder Years" so he'd understand what I meant when I said "Sorry Benny, I don't like you like you". Anyways, as you can imagine, this has all been very hard on little BennyBoy. He has since moved on, but not 100%, obvi, he still sends flowers from time to time.

Here he is with my man Eduardo Verastagui. Not the best shot of either one, I admit. But hello, anybody that is friends with EVerastagui is a friend of mine.

Oh, Benny. You are pensive. You are worried about how to get me to like you. You are wearing a suit bc you read my blogizzle and you know how I feel about menswear. Sexy+Smart=Swoonable.

Benny went thru a bad-boy stage during his post-rejection-depresison. He has since gotten the tattoo of my face removed from his back.

Ok, this was taken after Ben started moving on from his maddening-crush on me. He saw the light at the end of the tunnel after I introduced him to his (now) wife. What a relief...

Who would be willing to comfort Benjie if he ever sinks back into his depression??? Anyone?

Monday Swoon

Yes, today is Monday. And in true "June The Swoon Cleaver's Biggest Fan" style, I decided to post a swoonworthy pic for you on this fine horrible excuse for a day-of-the-week.

No, today has not been a bad Monday or anything. And, you know how I hate it when you jump to conclusions like that. Simmer down before I call Bon Qui Qui.

Monday is just one of those days. My frenemy. And Mondays are always less Mondayish with a swoon. Everybody knows that. Common knowledge. Common sense.

I've been trying to come up with a swoonworthy gentleman to post. I thought about posting another shot of Josh Duhamel (my baby daddy)(jk jk) or Ryan Reynolds. I also considered choosing from my long list of celebrities who stalk me and socialite gentlemen callers. But, again, we've seen their faces on these swoons time and time again. You know who you are [Sam Champion].

All I can really swoon over at this moment is a pizza pie. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's AMORE. Obvi.
Without further ado.... may I present... for the first time on The Uptown Girl Blogizzle.....

AMORE!!!!!

Go ahead, swoon...

back to the future

Here I am. Back in business.

NYC missed me more than usual and I am not at liberty to say why. Let's just say it is because I'm amazing and leave it at that.

I have so much to tell you and so much to catch-up on now that I'm back in the home country.

I'll start by bringing you up to speed on the southern phrases...

I mentioned to Helena that I hadn't seen her in a year, although she insisted she was in NYC visiting me in May. Yeah... that was May, 2008. When she figured that out she said:

"It seems like I was just up there. It's been one hot minute."

Translation:

"Uptown Girl, you are so smart. I guess time flies."

Hot is hot. Hot is the new black. I heard it used in these 5 ways: Hot mess. Hot minute. Hot stuff. Hot and humid. Hot 80s costume.

In a hot minute I'll tell you some other phrases.

Negative. Negative is a big one. Instead of answering a question using the standard "no", I heard a lot of "negative".

That is a lie. Instead of correcting a word or a phrase, or taking it back, etc, Helena would state "that is a lie". For example....

"I like having you around Uptown Girl. That is a lie. I love having you around. Even if it is for only a few days. Negative. That is a lie. You are only here for a hot minute."

Moral of the story: Helena lies a lot.

Mary, on the other hand, is as honest as white on rice. She says a lot of "I'm not gonna lie". For example:

"I'm not gonna lie, you look like a hot mess Uptown Girl." Thanks for being so forthcoming Mary. You have my trust.

Well, those are all the new phrases I can recall. Aren't they fetch? *wink* *wink* Obvi.

The main thing I need to catch-up on now that I'm homeski is... wait for it... blogging! My bloggizzle missed me and my ferociously fierce self. And I missed reading all y'all's blogs. I'm way behind in my reading. My blog reading and my Harry Potter reading. Yes, I am reading the first HP book as we speak blog. So far... eh. It's aight. It's ok. I do kinda want my own owl to deliver my mail, newspaper, and parcels. I mean, why should I not have that? I live in the land of the free and home of the privileged. I should have an owl. I would send a lot more parcels if I had an owl. Totes. But it's no Lord of the Rings... and def not as good as Twilight so far... oh Edward Cullen. Oh me, oh my.

btw- i don't know about you, but I'm so falling out of love with Robward. I mean... I need to re-read Twilight after I finish HP, and I will always be Team Edward (sorry all you Team Jacob-ites. No comparison there. I mean, does Jacob sparkle?? that's what I thought. yeah. NO). But that Robert Pattinson kid? I'm liking and swooning less and less. And less. He just doesn't embody Edward Cullen for me. Too much? Is this giving you a mini-heart attack? I apologize ahead of time to those of you who may be scandalized and offended. And I offer you this peace offering:

I believe that jewelry can heal all wounds. Who doesn't love a new pair of earrings??

As for my ideas for an alternate movie Edward...

Who likes Hayward? I think Hayden Christensen would be a good fit. He could at least audition for the role anyway.

And another Robward! Robert Buckley. I can actually picture him sparkling in the sun. And wearing those glasses so we can't see his vampire-ish eye color.

Mr. Buckley, you have my vote.

Who are you voting for? Current Robward, Hayward, or alternate Robward? I would totally go for someone completely better but had to choose guys who could pass for 17. Oh this is getting awkward. Like a turtle on its back.

So, what's everybody been up to in my absence? A lot of tears? A lot of boredom? A lot of curiosity about my va-cay-cay? That's only natural. I'm back now so rest easy you little hot mess, you.

Tell me everything. aaaannnnnndddddd GO.