Swoonless Tuesday

Hello my public. Uptown Fandom at large please hear this:
(*uptown disclaimer at bottom of post*)

I am not posting a swoon today.

No hot steamy pic to drool over. Nope. Not happening.

So (Lovey & June) if that is the only reason we are friends... well I just don't know what to tell you. Maybe I should start by listing better reasons for you to read my blogizzle in addition to my wanna-be-swoons:


-I have interesting insights into pretentious new york city living.

-I condescend to associate with you online.

-I am amazing.

-You can live vicariously thru my high-class world of taxis and mani-pedis and beer champagne.

-I come up with new Uptownese Urban Slang that you should be studying daily.

-I think I'm hilarious and you should think so, too.

-I practice the fine art of being a virtual snob and debutante.

-I am fetch. Everything about me is fetch and fabulous.

-You know you love me.

-I will one day be Empress and rule the world. You may be in running to be one of my Ladies in Waiting if you play your cards right.


I will gently suggest that you soak up all of my insightful posts and be grateful they exist.

And if you need a swoon real real bad... well, June? Are you going to post one for us sometime in the near future? Because everyone should know that I only post wanna-be-swoons. What do I mean by wanna-be?? Thank you for asking. My little swoony swoons are little bits of drivel that I post from time to time to help fill the void until June 'The Swoon' Cleaver is back in business. Her swoons are on a different level. If you don't believe me you should just click her link on my sidebar. Obvi. But you should know that June, too is deeper than her swoon-abilities. She has a lot to teach us all about this great big world, about being a mom, and about the effects of beer.

Ok Lovey & June, be my guest and post your own swoonable pics. Because I can only spend so much time searching for said pics while drooling at work. I will prob post them tomorrow... time will tell.
I hope that you will come back to my blog for me and my hottness rather than for the hotties I post. They are just a bonus. Fo shizzle my nizzle lemon drizzle. And please, don't make me cut you.

*DISCLAIMER: Have you heard of pms? Pre-, Post-, or Participating- Madness Syndrome. Right, well I may or may not be operating on an influx of hormones given to me by this Madness. Go ahead and guess. Make my day.*