Holler

Dearest Blogland,

I just got home from drinks with my admirer (one of many, obvi).

Just checking in to let you know that I'm alive and well. I had a nice time chilling with my 6'3" date, albeit, there were no sparks. Yes, I asked his height.

Also no kidnapping or murder to report. This admirer is seemingly not a stalker, nor is he dangerous yet.

Nite nite Sprite. Sweet dreams.

<3
Uptown Girl

not so secret admirer

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Let me tell you what it's like.
Except for the part that my secret admirer is not a secret. But oh well, it's kind of like the same thing.

When I woke up this morning, on my day off, there was an envelope stuck under the front door. Inside was a folded up note that reads:

---------------------
Subj: "Unorthodox"


To: The Brunette, who has a roundish cute face, who I think lives here

From: Tall Indian guy who has seen you in the building and in the elevator occasionally. Unfortunately, you're never alone - so I couldn't introduce myself.


If you'd like to grab coffee or a drink sometime - please call or text.


-Tall Indian guy (212-Admirer)
[Name and phone number changed to protect my admirer]
---------------------

And there you have it folks.

Confusingly enough, there are two brunettes in my apartment. I mean, Liza is a Blondie, so we can safely rule her out (barring red-green color blindness). But, hi, Lovey is a "brunette who has a roundish cute face". Super cute in fact.

However, Lovey has no frame of reference for a "Tall Indian guy" in the building. And I think I know exactly who it is. I often see a "Tall Indian guy" in the elevator. And he's pretty good looking.

My roomies thought this was a very romantic gesture, while my immediate reaction is stalker. A romantic stalker, if you will. How does he know where I live? Did he follow me? Did he leave the same note under every door in the hallway?
Possibly.


I looked through the peep-hole and there was no stalker standing by, and this is just one note. So instead of jumping to extremes, I'm going to officially dub this "Tall Indian guy" an admirer rather than jump to stalker. For now.

Now then. What is your initial reaction? I'm def gonna ask my guy-friends for their reactions. Future-Brother-in-Law, what do you think? Tell me everything.

I'm considering calling the number and going for coffee. What would you do? Any advice for this Uptown Girl?

Dear Jakie Jake

Dearest Jake Bachelor,

I could never be your wife. Please stop sending me the weekly roses.

I don't even like red roses as much as white, or pink, or peach. Obvi, if you knew me better you would know this. The problem is that you want to hop into a full-on relationship on the first date. Or group-date. It's not fair to me. Or to anyone.

Stop telling me to "open up" to you. Again, I barely know you and you are totally dating 5 other women. Why the heck would I tell you my deeper than deep and dark as night (night in Montana, not in NYC bc that isn't dark at all) secrets? And what pray tell are your secrets anyway? I haven't heard of you opening up to any of the other girls or skanks.

So that's it. I'm out. And for the record, maybe you should marry Vienna. She told you all her secrets and cried and also she thinks you are a hunk in flannel. Isn't that what you are looking for in a girl?

Best of luck in your search.

Sincerely but sans the x and the o,

Uptown Girl

ps- for a great re-cap of last night's episode click here.

Dear Sam Champion,

[view from my office window today]

Dear Sam Champion,

It is raining today. And quite chilly. I had to wear my pea coat and carry an umbrella. I forgot my rainboots at home. Lamespice. But, Sam, I am 80% ok with that because in exchange for crap weather today I have a special request...

If its not too much trouble, I'd like you to make sure it is nice and sunny all weekend. That means no rain from Friday afternoon until Monday morning. Rainy days and Mondays always get me down, and I really would like a kickin weekend.

I'd really appreciate it if you'd arrange some sunshine for me, Sammy.


xoxo,


<3 Uptown Girl <3

Dear Reese,

Dear Reese,

I know we haven't socialized in quite awhile... I've been too busy to fly out to L.A. this year. And I know you do come to NYC from time to time, but it has just been that kind of a year. You know how it is. With so many benefits and charity events to attend, beauty treatments galore, donating time posing for designers as their muse, etc etc, it can be oh so difficult to find time for myself and my old friends. We'll have to catch up soon though.

I did want to write to just keep you abreast of this topic. As you know, our previous misunderstanding continues to bother me. A thorn in my side, if you will. From time to time I have been compared to you. "You look like Reese Witherspoon". "You really do resemble that actress from Legally Blonde". And on and on.

Now, obviously these misguided commoners remain unfamiliar with our circle, our crowd, our level in society. I'm sure you would agree that it is a bit declasse, bordering on crass.

It is an embarrassing mistake for both of us and I think the best remedy is for you to continue to correct such mistaken comparisons. Perhaps let the press run an article on the differences between the life of an actress versus the life of an uptown socialite? Remind these plebeians that it is you that resembles me. And not the other way around.

And please keep up with your blonde hair so as to set yourself apart as much as possible. You know how complicated things get when you go dark...

Hope to see you soon, of course. And send my regards to Jake, Ava, and Deacon.

xoxo,

Uptown Girl