I have not been a very good blogger these last 6 days.
I have been sad and feeling yucky.
Yes, that's right, what I've got they used to call the blues.
In the words of a broken heart, it's just emotion that's taken me over. Ok, I'm writing in song lyrics once again. I can't help it. You know you love it and/or it freaks you out (and feel free to name the songs I quoted or perhaps mis-quoted). As I've said before, I think better in song lyrics They seem to help me express whatever it is I'm feeling. Especially if my feelings are a jumbled up heap of mess- picture a closet with random shoes and clothes that need sorting, but instead they are in a big pile that begins to overflow when you open the door. Add a few dust bunnies.
Also that is a visual of my actual closet.
I'm super into listening to my music this week. And my computer is working better than usual and allowing my precious imeem to come thru. I'm into my precious Oldies, Ingrid Michaelson, Taylor Swift, and Regina Spektor. Still. Remember when I posted about patience a couple weeks back? I was in a spot where I had to choose one of two paths and was waffling. Well my patience paid off and my thoughts and feelings became clear. Unfortunately my gut was so clearly telling me to choose another path than the one I was taking. And I hurt someone that I care about. I broke-up with an awesome guy. And now I feel just awful. He didn't see it coming. I am going thru the shoulda woulda couldas. I shoulda woulda coulda told him that I was having doubts instead of giving him a shock that sent him into next year.
I know I need to listen to my gut because when I ignore those deep nagging feelings I get myself into trouble. I just want to know why my gut has to make things so difficult for me?
To quote just one more song... I wish it would rain.
{yes even my title is a song lyric. and yes, I know I'm crazy}
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9 comments:
Bee Gees - Emotions. Love that song.
Anywho...when it comes to the blues I think it's one of those things you have to let run it's course. It's not fun...but like Regina sings..it's Gonna get better. The question of when is up to you.
Trust your gut my friend. No matter what you would have chosen you would be thinking "what if". But the longer you sit there "shouldaing" the longer before you get yourself up, dust yourself off, and go!
Oh man...I didn't do a very good job of cheering you up. Um...crap. Let's do a song lyric contest...woohoo!! Love that game! :D
Here's one of my favorite lyrics:
Fear not, my little one.
Fear not, I have redeemed you.
I have called you by your name.
I have formed you with my own hands
in your mother's womb.
Come, lay your cheek upon my breast.
And feel the beating of my heart.
It is overflowing with love for you,
like a river swollen from a summer rain.
You are precious in my eyes.
You are honored, and I love you.
Come and rest here in my arms.
Feel my healing love surround you.
Maria,
I'll try to post this song on my website blog later - have a listen.
A golden oldie!
I'm so sorry. I learned 21 years ago to listen to my gut even when it hurt really bad to do so. I've never gone wrong by following my instincts. Hard decisions hurt, some longer than others, but you know you did what was right for you. Even if it blasted the guy right out of the water.
I've also learned that allowing yourself to wallow in it helps one to get over it a little faster. I'd give myself permission to just sit in the dark at night listening to Don Henley's "Heart of the Matter" for hours at a time. (Btw, I met Don Henley about 7 years ago. True story.) I'd have to limit it because crying makes me face all blotchy and my nose run, so I can't do it too often.
Again, I'm so sorry.
thanks for the sentiments everybody! I'm feeling a little better today.
Alice- how do we do this lyric contest?? i'd love that!
Katy- I will go back and try to hear the song in a bit, thx
Rita- i listened to Heart of the Matter this morning and it really is a great breakup song! How did you meet him??
Stalking.
My sister and I went to his show in Richmond (VA) on a hideously cold and windy (and icy) night. The venue was small. On the way back to the parking deck after the show, while looking both ways before (okay, after crossing the street, I saw a couple of tour buses just around the corner. I grabbed Joan by the neck (we're friendly that way) and dragged her back across the road to the buses, which just happened to be parked by an anonymous exit. Three other people were waiting there in the sub-zero wind chill; strangely enough (or maybe not, given that we're already strange) one was a guy we'd met the year before at either an Eagles or Henley concert. So the five of us waited and waited and froze, then the tour manager came out and said that Don was sick, but if we waited till he got on the bus, we could come aboard to meet him.
I have to tell you that Don Henley was #1 on my list of People I Don't Want to Meet because he always seemed so aloof and, well, rude. #1 on my list of People I Want to Meet was Mr. Rogers, but he checked out before I even had a chance.
So. Henley comes out of the venue with a towel draped over his head, and he looked really short, but that might have been because I'm 5'9" and was hovering about a foot above the sidewalk. He looked a little appalled at the sight of five "older" people babbling nonsense at him, or was that just me? Probably.
A few minutes later, the TM came out and said that we could each, separately, go on the bus and meet Don and he'd sign autographs. I pushed Joan ahead of us because I had to think up something relatively sane-sounding to say and I knew it wasn't going to be spur of the moment. Not with this brain. So she went ahead and he was very sweet to her when she expressed concern about his illness (flu, dammit) and the drive through the icy wildnerness.
So. My turn. He's about 5 years older than I am and his youngest child is the age of my oldest grandchild, so I babbled "Yourmusichasbroughtsomuchjoytomylife" or possibly something dumber and then said something about his youngest being the age of my grandkids. He signed a piece of scrap paper because we were woefully unprepared, then he shook my hand and I floated off the bus.
I must have licked my hand for the rest of the night because, two weeks later, I had the most hideous flu imaginable that turned into pneumonia.
I still have a terrible cough that never ever went away, one that no doctor or specialist or healer can cure or even find out what causes it.
I think I have Don to thank for that.
Well, you asked.
wellll....I'm not sure. Maybe we can write out a line or two from a song and the first to get the name and artist right is "it" and lists some lyrics and it continues on and one and on...
BUT we have to trust that everyone is being honest. What makes it fun is that I'm sure e'ryone has diff musica interests. :D We can start in a post and continue into the comment section. Get a few different posts going with links on other blogs and we'll be famous! :D
Or should I say even MORE famous than we already are. Jus' sayin'
Rita- your story is awesome!!! I can't believe Don Henley gave you the flu... how rude. Maybe you can get him to pay for your Robotussin bills.
Alice- thank you for ammending your comment bc we are already pretty famous. obvi. lets do the Name that Tune game... you should start it!!
Nah, Robitussin doesn't touch this cough. I can cough for 10 minutes straight at a time. Till I used to throw up (can't now, had reflux surgery which didn't cure the cough, although the surgeon said it did in 80% of the cases), till I pee myself. Lovely vision, I know.
Now it's Tussionex or nothing, and for some reason, many doctors won't prescribe narcotics in a quantity large enough to make it worthwhile; a month's worth is $50. They like to prescibe about 10 doses for $25.
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