Land O' Lakes

Here I am to give you more info on my recent mini-vacay up north. I know you've been waiting patiently and you can rest easy because the waiting is at an end. The anticipation has been killing you, hasn't it??

First, I should tell you that my work conference on Friday and Saturday was perfection. I stayed a hotel in Minneapolis in a comfy bed in a room that was pitch black when I pulled the shades and turned out the lights. This may sound strange to you, but it was quite luxurious for this city chick. My room at home is bright. Way. Too. Bright. Both during the night when I'm sleeping and in the morning when I'm trying to sleep-in. Between the street lights and the southern exposure I am doomed. Oh, and windows that won't support any shades other than the ones that came in the windows. And lets just say that said shades are insufficient when it comes to blocking out light. Anywho.... at this hotel I was spoiled by a dark night to sleep deeply. This, of course, is after a full day of learning useful and exciting information, being constantly fed delicious rich food, networking with some awesome nurses, and soaking in a hot tub for at least one hour and a half. Bliss.

On Saturday, after being stuffed some more, I finally felt a bit of fear. I thought to myself, "Uptown Girl, why are these people trying to fatten you up so much? This is worrisome." With this newfound fear to drive me, I continued to eat and eat... and eat, until my pants had to be unbuttoned. No big deal. As you know, I'm still alive and now have fat stored up in case I don't get fed again until spring. It really was a useful conference, and I made it out alive.

After the conference ended, I rented a car and drove about an hour north-west of Minneapolis to visit my college friend and former roomie, Mary and her husband, Gary. Their names rhyme. The entire drive was gorgeous. Blue skies stretching for miles, white clouds, and landscape as far as I could see. I saw farms, and fields, and trees... lots of green nature... and more blue lakes than you can even imagine. This is a big deal for me since in NYC all I see are buildings, pavement, the East River from time to time, and more buildings. But in MN, wow, I could see the horizon! A-maze-ing.

Visiting Mary and meeting her hubby for the first time was wonderful. They were so hospitable and welcoming. I stayed in their guest room (also dark thru the night- I mean, halleluiah!) along with all of Mary's designer bags. I may or may not have brought one or two home with me. It was a misunderstanding... I promise. We had a great time catching up, remembering old times. Such as the fact that Mary and I met 10 years ago but haven't aged a day. *wink* We reminisced about our evolving styles and some of the terrible fashion choices I made in college. Don't ask. I disclosed to Mary&Gary my growing need for eye cream. Gary gave me a homeopathic moisturizer suggestion. Mary&Gary took me out for dinner at this yummy restaurant overlooking a scenic lake. One of 10,000. *thanks Mary&Gary... i heart you both*

There is more, much more to this story, and I will give you a "Mini-Vacay Up North Part Two: Papa Buck, Cows, and Culture". But, alas, I must away. I have this thing to do called work. Perhaps you've heard of it. It is a torture created to suck the very life out of people far and wide. A travesty really. I'm above it all, obvi, but due to some strange phenomenon I must lower myself to do this work. And as a result of this twisted hiccup in nature, those of us with jobs are even grateful to have the work. It's bizarre really. I have heard that money doesn't grow on trees. And I ask, "why not?" With technology and environmental advances, with genetic adaptations of all sorts of plants and trees, why doesn't modern science allow for money-growing trees? A money tree would solve a myriad of problems world-wide.

[Note to self: become a scientist and invent "The Money Tree, by Uptown Girl".]