I don't speak low-fat

So this girl walks into a bar and orders a fro-yo....

The bartender just looks at her and says "what now??"



Ok that is not a true story or a funny joke. I will tell you what really happened.

I was walking along 2nd Avenue and chit-chatting it up with my sister Liza and a friend. We will call the friend "Neighbor Girl" (she is a friend AND a neighbor in our bldg- did you figure that part out?) to protect her identity from the shame that will soon be upon "Neighbor Girl's" head.

We're walking, talking, noticing our uptown surroundings. Right. So, Neighbor Girl recently introduced me to this new and wonderfully delish ice cream eatery. The place is Last Licks on East 93rd- love the name and you simply MUST try it. As we passed by I told Liza about the yummy ice cream and how they have $2 sundaes on Sundays. [aside: I don't know of any other places where I can buy something worth buying for $2 on any day of any week ever ever ever]

So Neighbor Girl goes "and their fro-yo is really good too". I said "fro-yo? what? speak English please".

So apparently fro-yo is the abbreve for Frozen Yogurt! Did you know this?? I've never heard it before. But, I generally try to surround myself with people who share my interests. Food, Josh Duhamel, shopping, beer, etc.

I don't speak low-fat because I don't eat low fat. What is the point? Don't you just have to eat twice as much to get your needed/wanted daily value of fat? I mean not that I'm against eating extra food or anything, don't get me wrong. But, if I'm gonna eat a crap ton I want it to taste good. More than good, I want my food to taste delish. I eat some healthy foods, its not all crap. But I want my healthy foods to taste good, too.

When Neighbor Girl introduced me to this ice cream joint she ordered her famous fro-yo. But, I chose to avert my eyes. I stared at, ogled, and then ate my real ice cream. And then it was gone. You know, you can't have your ice cream and eat it too. I learned that the hard way. Anyway, I ignored the sad fact that Neighbor Girl ate low-fat fro-yo right in front of me. But, when she later had the nerve to bring it up in convo... well I was appalled.

I cry at night thinking of all the empty calories people consume when they eat low-fat. It truly saddens me to pieces. Why not eat fatty-ful delicious calories instead? I think it is a disease that will later be discovered and they will do a mini-documentary on this very topic on Good Morning America, followed by an exclusive on 20/20. They will prob want to interview me as I was the first to write about the disorder. What should I wear for my interview? I will have to ponder this.

The question remains... can I continue in my friendship with Neighbor Girl? Should I host an intervention party at my apartment where I gather a group of close friends and coworkers to convince Neighbor Girl that fro-yo is not a valid choice at an ice cream store? Probably. What does one wear to host an intervention? Something red and flashy that says "look how great I'm doing, so you should listen to me"? Or maybe something neutral that says "this is a safe place, I will not cut you"? Probably something blue, I always hear that blue is a calming color and maybe it will just lull her to sleep.

Ok, I gotta go plan a party and an outfit. Busy busy. Oh, and work. This is shaping up to be a hectic day... until next time, ciao!