Friday, July 9, 2010

Newsies

In New York, we have multiple free newspapers. Every morning people hand out 2 of said freebies in the subway stations. Aggressively.

I stopped taking the papers because:
1- I'm on a crossword puzzle break.
2- There are sometimes offensive ads (like for that website that facilitates married people cheating... and it shall not be named on this blog) and there is no reason to get any crankier in the morning.
3- If I don't end up reading the paper I still have to carry it around.

Anywho.

At the first station, where I squeeze my body onto the subway, there is this dude that stands directly in my path, in front of the top of the stairs. He tries to hand the paper out and I say "no thanks" everyday and push past him.

When I arrive at my stop, after practicing my defensive line skills and making my way off the train, there is a man handing out the same paper and yelling, "free, free, free, free, free, free, free!".

Then again, "free, free, free, free, free, free, free!".

I keep walking.

Every morning this week, this overly-caffeinated newsie was yelling, "LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron!".

And then again, "LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, LeBron!".

There you have it people. I don't need to read the Metro or AM. I get my headlines yelled at me and drilled into my head. Reading becomes an unnecessary task.
someecards.com - I heard from a reliable source that you don't give a shit where LeBron ends up

*In reality I now read my news online on my INCREDIBLE new phone outfitted with the handy dandy world wide web wherever I go. Except in the subway. Drat.

Some real news: Manhattan is getting a Target.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S

4 comments:

Natasha said...

That would be so annoying! I'd push them aside too. Yay for the Target. (Btw, I have a new friend that lives in Manhattan. He works at the Olive Garden in Times Square!)

M-Cat said...

Tar-get (pronounced french like) is the bomb and Lebron is a d-bag.

Liza said...

ugh I cant stand those news papers! every time I forget, and think "hey a free newspaper, I should grab one"..I am quickly reminded that I HATE them.. they are full of the Dumbest & most BIASED news ever!!. kthxbye

Uptown Girl said...

Natasha & M-Cat - Target is mecca for me. I'm waiting with bells on! Come to NY and we'll take a field trip there.

Liza- tell us how you really feel...