Friday, February 26, 2010

they say you learn something new everyday

Today I learned that God might not know about the existence of tuna-melts.

It is a Friday in Lent. A meatless day in my religion.
This vegetarian adventure is supposed to be a sacrifice.

Right, I get all that... but if that is the case, then someone has sneakily kept the not-so-new invention of tuna-melt deliciocity out of God's line of sight. Or, I guess in reality God knows all (that whole omniscience gig), so He prob just let this one yummy treat slide out of love for us little people.

But for sure the pope doesn't know. That guy really missed out at lunchtime today. My tuna-melt was A-mazing. I can still taste in in my mind.

Thanks God.
Love, Uptown Girl

Thursday, February 25, 2010

therapize this

Have I ever told you that my bestie, Lovey, is a therapist? Well she is. It comes in handy all the time. Not only is she a phenomenal bff, but she is also so useful. More useful to me than if she were a mechanic or an electrician or even a plumber. Although I think we can all agree that it would be quite useful to have friends who work in those fields.

Whenever I have a problem or a yucky feeling I know Lovey will help me work out the deeper issue. This is basically why I keep her around.

Today I have one such example to show and tell you about. Don't worry.
We were g-chatting while working very hard at our respective jobs today and... well I'll just let you read the chat for yourself.

[WARNING: The convo posted here is privileged information and should be considered confidential. Also, I fixed the spelling and order because sometimes we skip some letters and finish our thoughts out of order.]

me: bleh i have no motivation today for work or even to get up from my desk. what do u think that is about? pls therapize me
Lovey: the weather sucks, you're not happy at your job, and you need a new challenge professionally. BOOM
me: woah
you should get paid more
just saying
you could prob do "drive-thru" therapy like Dr Phil if you wanted
Lovey: LOL i would NEVER do what he does. he is a sell out and exploiter!
me: totes! but still, you'd be rich and so would i bc what's yours is mine
Lovey: HA HA HA! yes, that is true.
me: ok perfect
let's get into that line of business
oh to earn my keep, maybe i could go on air with you as your side kick
me: i'll make comments about the patients- you know to make the audience laugh at them a little
Lovey: Uptown Girl!
Lovey: i would not be happy tho, and at some point would not give it my all then.
kind of like when the steam goes out.
so it would probably not be successful for very long.
me: that's ok, as long as we make a cool million first, then we can take a nice long vacay

So there you have it bloggy friends. In our therapy convo, Lovey helped me realize what was bringing me down and that I need a vacay. And I helped her realize that she should have her own show on the telly. That's the British word for tv.
Don't you wish your bestie could therapize you?
For the record here, I therapize Lovey too. My sessions cost more though, as one would expect.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

due to this unscheduled blogging drought...

...please see here for some great posts from the last couple of days. Or go get to know Own It by using Liza's latest new feature here.

I've been too busy/distracted/lazy/involved in real life activities to post about all of it in blogland today. For this I am truly frustrated, believe me.

I promise to make it up to you ASAP. You can choose how. Chocolate ice cream soda floats all around? A round of bloggy Truth-or-Dare? A re-cap of my lastest and greatest dates? A big grovelling apology from yours truly?
Hah! That was funny because I am an Uptown Girl sooooo I think we both know I do not grovel.

Blog Truth-or-Dare sounds like mega fun, any thoughts on how we could make that happen?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Tay-Tay Everyday-Day

I know there are some haters out there. And I know you feel strongly that Taylor Swift is sub-par. That she doesn't win any awards in your personal high and mighty music judging book. That she is too teenie bopper. That her music isn't quality enough to be considered truly good music. Sort of like how you won't read Twilight because you don't consider it actual literature.

I also know that, although you are entitled to your opinions, my opinion is that you need a little more Tay-Tay in your day day. Here she is, a beautiful young girl who knows how to own it thru her passions. She writes music, lyrics, plays guitar, and sings. And rocks a good portion of my iPod Nano. Yes, she needs to work on her posture, but who doesn't?
Most importantly, everytime I listen to Taylor Swift I feel. Happy, sad, hurt, nostalgic, mad. Whatever she is singing about I can usually relate and feel my feelings. Sort of like therapy. Therapy for my ears and music to my soul.
Keep owning it Taylor. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, I know you're an Uptown Girl in training.

Monday, February 22, 2010


Last week over on Own It, my sister Liza wrote a great post about relishing in her latest successes. Today I'm going to copy her like always and relish in my success...
I obvi like to tell you about my running ups and downs and def expect you to care a great deal. I know you do.
Well, on Saturday I ran 4 miles in my backyard Central Park to benefit Haiti. I ran with my brother and sister and a couple other friends (the friends started the race up ahead with the fast people).
And................ I was FAST! Serio, I ran my fastest race ever and finished at 43:05.
Yes, that is under 11 minutes per mile. Thank you for noticing and kudos on your math skills.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

pager danger

I have the urge to make a call or get up and leave my desk right now. The urge is very strong because I just paged someone. Yeah, remember beepers? We still use them in healthcare. Don't ask me why. I consider pagers a thing of the past, archaic. They belong in a time capsule from the 90's, somewhere alongside my AquaNet, walkman, and over-sized flannel shirts.

I just sent a text-page. And the moment I hit "send" I reeeeeally needed to make a phone call. I remembered that I need to be available for the return call and had to wait patiently by the phone. I am totally unable to be productive right now due to this pager problem and my lack of motivation. I page and therefore I wait. And therefore I post.

Well, I guess if I use my mad AP Calculus skills I would come up with this equation:

Paging + Waiting crippled at my desk = Blog posting + Cosine[Tangent] + Good times

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


You may as well wait 40 more days to call me because I'm giving up flaky guys for Lent

post this

Do you ever feel like there are lots of things you want to accomplish - and you really do want to accomplish these things - but you just forget, don't have the time, or don't take the time?

You do? Well then, welcome to my life.

My to-do list seems to have grown from 1 mile long to 6 miles. It imploded really.

Last night I got home, sat on the couch, and watched tv. I then got up, reheated food from the night before, sat back down on the couch, and watched tv. I then grabbed my laptop, sat back down on the couch, sent an email or two, and watched tv.

What is wrong with this picture? No, the screen was not fuzzy.

This morning I woke up and remembered the way I had pictured last night going.... (yes, in my head I have a picture of how my plans will turn out). It looked more like this: go home, go for a run, eat dinner, work on my taxes online, post on my blogizzle, and then watch a little tv.

On the way home however, I noticed that the sidewalks were super icy and decided not to run and risk certain death. And when I initially got home and sat on the couch I forgot the entire rest of the plan!

ARGH. Argh-city. Come on brain, can't you do a little better than that?

I guess this is why I put sticky post-its on my phone. To remind me of what my brain forgets so quickly. Some people tease me about my post-its, but they're just jealous. Right?

Friday, February 12, 2010

enjoy your weekend...

And enjoy this commercial. I'm sold.

I may be in love. L-O-V-E.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Fast Forward

Oy to the Vey. This week is just taking forever and a day to end. Having that pseudo snowday yesterday threw me off majorly. It felt like a Friday. My roomies had the day off and at work people were dropping like flies (as in, leaving early, not passing out or anything... I see how that could be misleading). I was here until 5pm working my arse off slash hoarding my vacay hours. And, I'm glad I did because, as nice as it would've been to head home early, the sidewalks were way better than expected. It was no big deal getting home. Same commute, same crazy crazies on the bus.

The problem is that it is only Thursday. How is that even possible? I have an acute case of Cabin Fever. HELP! Does anyone know how to fast forward the work week and get to the weekend a little faster?

Speaking of fast forwarding... now that we're in this tapeless tech culture, with CDs on their way out, DVDs, Blue-Ray (whatever that is), iPod, MP3, iPad (don't see the appeal at all), and on and on, will the generation being raised right now even know what the terms "rewind" and "fast forward" mean? Do we fast forward on a disc or do we skip ahead? I'm not actually clear on that.

I no longer have a CD player, tape player, or VCR. It really is time to get those old home videos at my mom's house converted into a DVD or even into a file to place on my external hard drive.

I notice that friends are scanning high school and college photos into their computers and posting to FB on the daily. My photos are in a box and a couple of albums in my room. Where they will stay. Safe. I would ask these techie friends not to tag me if the pics are from my awkward years... maybe you looked great in high school and need to show those pics and relive the glory days... but me? not so much... my glory days are in the present tense. Have I ever told you about the little known fact that I didn't regularly dry and straighten my hair, wear "real" makeup, or learn to dress for my body type until my late 20s? Yeah, so those frump pics you are scanning would prob be better off rotting in your scrapbook instead of shown to the world. In my humble opinion. Wink.

I'm really jumping around from topic to topic in this post. I think that's what they call word salad. The Cabin Fever must be progressing to the next stage... please help me get through this week!

{This happens to be from one of my fave movies that I still own on VHS}

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


Yes, I am at work and this is the view out my window. There are somewhere between 6 and 200 inches of snow falling out there. Blustery blizzards.

I will get back to trying to FB stalk you blog hopping work now as you contemplate whether I am a very dedicated employee or I just don't want to use vacation time slash rack up more "incidents".

ps- Sorry about that poor picture quality. The papa-razi are taking a snowday so I had to use my crap camera phone to take that image. Lo siento.
pps- Just heard some jerk in the hallway saying "yeah, the snow is supposed to really pick up around 4". It is now 3:40pm. Great.

The Green Police

Did you see this commercial during the Super Bowl?

My aunt Katy sent it to me (thanks Katy!). I def remember watching it during the game, but had no idea what product it was selling. Actually, I thought it was some sort of PSA for being green and caring for the planet when, in fact, it's an ad for a car.

This is one example of a memorable campaign that is advertising a forgettable product. But that is not why I'm posting today. The thing is, I loved this commercial. It was hilario with a grain of truth. Now hold on to your seats as I get all philosophical on you.

Like I said, the ad was funny. I laughed. I cried. I laughed out loud.

When I stop laughing and think about the messages the commercial is sending though, I'm conflicted. Is it good to be green? Of course. Do I think it is important to check ourselves and our homes, vehicles, workplaces, etc and call each other on to greenitude? Sure. Do I do this enough? Negative. But, should we be policing one another? For me, the "Green Police" is such a funny concept because it is just that... ridiculous.

I mean, of all the things to police in this country, should shades of green be close to the top of the list? Don't we have some bigger problems to face? Would I even want to live in a place where the government were that big even if it resulted in an extremely clean green beautiful country? Nope.

And, more practically, what fun would it be for kids to grow up and never throw their gum on the street, spray Aqua-Net in their hair, or shoot spit-balls that end up littering the yard?

I doubt the ad team was going that deep when they came up with the commercial idea or had any police-state agenda up their sleeves. What a fun blog this would be if I were a true conspiracy theorist, huh?

I decided to finish my deep wonderings and leave you with this deep thought about our Earth. By Jack Handy.

“I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.” - Jack Handy

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

FB freeze

Facebook changed their format... again. What the what is going on?!?
This may interrupt my scheduled afternoon FB stalk. It's a good thing I deal with change moderately well or this could really be a problem.
I apologize ahead of time for not commenting on that adorable pic of your baby wearing a new bib or something equally cute. And I'm sorry I won't know about your new boyfriend or that you got married... I will prob miss that status update (Ok, and if that is the way I learn of your status I don't know you well enough to care anyway).
No time to figure out the new lamespice system today. Workie workie.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

who dat?

How did Sunday night arrive so fast? This weekend just flew by. I'm here to share a few things I learned and will take with me into the week:

1- There are different kinds of almonds for sale and I'm not a huge fan of the Emerald dry roasted kind.

2- The phrase "Who dat? Who dat? Who dat say dey gunna beat them Saints?" works in any situation from chanting at the Super Bowl to waiting for the elevator that's taking forever. Try it, I guarantee your enjoyment.

3- Margaritas with too much sugary mix can make you sick to your tummy. Don't ask for details on this one, just take it as a serious warning. For example, if you order a strawberry margarita on the rocks and it turns out to be reeeeally red, like cherry red, do not drink it if the lining of your stomach is important to you.

4- "Undercover Boss" is a super duper sacot new show that made me cry. As if I needed another tear-jerker to get me going.

5- "Time has been good to you". Yeah, a guy said this to me today when I admitted told him my age. He said it with a British accent so I guess that helps soften the blow of the backhanded compliment.

Well, time to go apply some anti-aging eye cream. Who dat?

Friday, February 5, 2010

Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't

I'm newly obsessed with almonds and gearing up to try them covered in chocolate or toffee or something sweet. I don't think I ever tried them before because I avoid most nuts as a rule (except peanuts). I now understand the name of that candy bar because I am living Almond Joy.
My co-worker says that eating almonds helps with weight-loss. I'm so ready to test this theory starting.... now.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

run run stop jump run

In honor of Run Til I'm Fun (and maybe a little bit due to the fact that my gym membership ran out and I'm waiting to renew), I ran outdoors last night. Out.of.Doors.

Yeah, I took my high-class arse to the streets rather than my rooftop treadmill. I mingled with the little people in the city. Serio, from the roof they look like ants. And really they're not so tiny afterall. They take up lots of room and I used up a lot of energy and burned countless calories dodging random people loitering or walking way slow on the sidewalk. Several near-misses.

I tested the RTIF theory (click the link to read about it and see a way crafty bar-graph) wherein the more layers worn while running supposedly corresponds with the number of comments from men. I wore my running pants, long sleeved tee, zip up hoodie, gloves, and this thing that went all the way around my head to cover my delicate ears and keep me from freezing. And my sneakers (obvi!).

Now, this ear coverer thingie was a bit mangled I must tell you. I bought it from some dude on the street for $5 purchased it from a notable designer whose name I really shouldn't disclose. It is made of fleece; black on the outside and pink on the inside. Like me (my hair is almost black and my eyebrows are jet black, so it works ok?). Anywho, turns out this item I bought doesn't fit. I guess that is what happens when things aren't custom made but purchased from just any designer. Last time I shop street table knock-offs at the Michael Kors Flagship. The ear thingie is huge and not adjustable. But, I really wanted to go for that run so I added a nifty safety pin to the velcro area and made it fit my head.

I decided that my ridiculous look would both: test the RTIF theory further and also take my usual sophistication down a notch so I'd fit in better on the sidewalk (can anyone tell me if that's what the commoners are calling it these days? side-walk?).

The results:

I had one possible comment. The fellow said: "woah woah woah get back here". He may have been on his cell phone or he may have been cat-calling me as I ran past. It was unclear. All a blur.

My outdoor run was a success. It was def exciting to say the least. Sort of like a track and field event. Jumping up onto and down off from curbs was like jumping over hurdles. Throwing my plastic water bottle at a rude man's head was like shot-put. Ok I didn't do this last thing. But that's just because it is too difficult to run with a water bottle. Duh. Oh, and all the hills on the UES were like running cross-country.

I even left the UES during my run. Well... that is a lie. I ran north into what I consider Harlem but is actually just more of the Upper Eastside. My sister says I'm not allowed to run there anymore. It is now outside the acceptable outdoor running radius for this high-class arse.

This post is dedicated to the girls who inspire me all the time over at RTIF.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Ok so - as if you didn't already know this - a Facebook status and pic game has been spreading like wildfire:
"It's celebrity look alike week. Make your profile pic a celebrity you have been told you look like............Copy and paste in your status message."

Tech, I didn't paste the message in my status. I can't be bothered to update FB statii and blogstalk you all in one day. I did change my pic though because A: it's fun and B: it's easy.

This is the pic I posted. Ginnifer Goodwin is my latest look alike. The more I see her face as my profile picture the more I feel like I'm looking in the mirror.I've tried to get my friends to post pics of their lucky celeb look alikes too ... ahem, you know who you are, Lovey, ahem... but not everybody is biting. Such is life.

It makes me wonder, do we all have look alikes running around out there? How many? Is there a celeb that people say looks like you? Or a random really really good-looking person?

I've gotten Ginnifer Goodwin, Reese Witherspoon, Belinda Carlisle, and Jennifer Hudson. I mean Jennifer Garner, not Hudson, oops. Now that would be quite the Doppelganger wouldn't it?

In honor of Celebrity Look Alike Week on FB, I took the game face-to-face and told someone I met at work that he looks just like Ralph Macchio. Apparently he gets that all the time. With hair as voluminous as Ralph Macchio I couldn't help but wonder... "I wonder if I can get away with running my fingers thru this dude's hair right now (in the office) even though we just met?". Yes, I think with parentheses, thank you for noticing my punctuation.

And for the record, I mustered all my strength and refrained from pretending this man was Ralph Macchio and touching his beautiful locks. I'm uber proud. Yet, sort of regretful. Just saying.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Rezzy Roundup

Here I am Blogosphere. I know I've been MIA since Friday and that you were prob driving yourself crazy wondering what I've been up to. And while (in an attempt to retain some mystery) I can't answer that question... I will satisfy another desire of your heart instead. Lucky you.

I will re-cap my 1 month old New Year's Resolutions! Ready? OK!

Rez 1- I would like to grow an inch or 2. So far this one has been a no-go. But, don't fret, I will totes make it happen by NYE 2011.

Rez 2- I will kiss a handsome man this year. Again, so far a no-go. Sad to say I haven't had this kiss just yet. Hello? You know I would've told you. What kind of UG do you take me for?

Rez 3- I will get my very own NetBook. DONE and DONER. Got my Asus. And my friend's bf City John got Mr. Asus all pimped out for me. Thx City John!

Rez 4- I will be more dedicated to my running. Yup, still working on this one. One step at a time (I cracked myself up with that pun). I'm doing pretty great at the consistency actually but def want to increase my time and distance.

Rez 5- I resolve to party. More. Def going strong! I had a fun January being very socially active with friends (new and old). I'm kind of a big deal.

Rez 6- I will stay in touch. Hrmmm. Ok confession. I'm really not so good at keeping in touch anymore. I used to pride myself on this life skill but now give myself a C-. Yeah, you read that right, there is one area in life where I am less than average. When I lived in the burbs and had a car and stuff like that I would drive all over this great country of ours talking on my cellphone and calling all my peeps. Between cell phone laws, moving to NYC, and no longer driving a vehicle ever, I have decreased my stay-in-touch skillz dramatically. It feels good to get that off my chest.

Rez 7- I will wear my coat during work everyday this winter until someone resolves our office heating problema. DONE, doner, and RESOLVED. It's now kinda hot in here. Or is that just me?

Rez 8- I will take suggestions from you. Still waiting on those suggestions. Did someone misplace the suggestion box? My take on this is that I simply post on everything you want to know about and, therefore, there is nothing better left to suggest. Clearly.

And there you have it: my brutally honest look back on January, 2010 and the start to my amazing resolutions. You heard it here first. No need to watch it on E! News tonight. No need.