Friday, June 26, 2009

bye bye Michael

clickety click: You Are Not Alone - Michael Jackson

I have such a wide range of emotions flowing at the news of Michael Jackson's death. It is unreal and unexpected. Both his passing and the feelings I'm having.

I think the hard part is that I associate MJ with a lot of bremories. Good and bad. And he was such an obviously sad, disturbed, yet completely talented man.

"You are not alone" was my song with my 8th grade boyfriend (1 of 2 songs). I still love it. It makes me think of Chris and wonder what he is up to. Makes me want to Facebook stalk him and try to remember our 14 year old innocent love. Before I callously broke his heart that is. Are you sensing a pattern? I've never been any good at this dating/relationship thing. And yet I keep trying. At this stage I try with the dating scene... but I try to be much more sensitive, open-minded, and clear about my feelings (both on dates and with myself). I am working on paying attention. Noticing both good and bad signals. Listening to my gut feelings. Using my voice and being heard. Looking for a situation where the signals from my head and heart and body are aligned and balanced. Trying but not yet quite there. Better late than never? Only time will tell.

So yeah, that is 1 good bremory brought about by Jacko. The bad ones are too private to share with you (we're just not on that level of intimacy yet- no offense). As I said here, and was reminded yesterday by this blogizzle, music is my memory (i mean bremory- sorry about the lapse in my vocab). Oh and I forgot to update you about the Oldies!

I've started listening to my beloved Oldies once more. I can't believe I stayed away for so long... they missed me and I missed them. Sacot. I have listened to them and listened to them and I've been working on new associations. It has actually worked. Turned out to be a great step in the right direction: closure. Like putting stitches on an open wound. Hurts at first, but helps the healing.

I may just try it with my most painful song to hear - THE song with the eX. At Last. Etta James. I said maybe. Nah, I'm not ready yet. And pls do not play that song around me unless you want me to break your ipod or cut you or F#^k you up! :)

Obvi Michael Jackson will be missed, wondered about, sainted, and condemned- depending who you talk to. I'm a mixed bag. A bag of tricks. A bag of groceries. Now I'm hungry. Got to go find that butler with the silver platter and a silver spoon.

I'll leave you with these lyrics:

There's a place in your heart

And I know that it is love

And this place could be much

Brighter than tomorrow.

And if you really try

You'll find there's no need to cry

In this place you'll feel

There's no hurt or sorrow.

There are ways to get there

If you care enough for the living

Make a little space, make a better place.

Heal the world

Make it a better place

For you and for me and the entire human race

There are people dying

If you care enough for the living

Make a better place for

You and for me.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Where oh where did my June Cleaver go? Oh where oh where can she be?

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN??? Tall, skinny, natural blond, looks about 22, legs for miles... drinks like a fish... you know... June Cleaver!? Well she has gone missing. I know I am not the only concerned blogger because I have lurked on your blogs and seen your worried comments.

Trying to be the best virtual friend I can be, I racked my brains thinking what could make her come out of hiding (assuming/hoping she is in fact in hiding and alive). I came up with a couple of options.

1- Fly to Omaha, NE and scour the city. Go door-to-door looking for a drunk blond.

2- Call Matthew McConaughey and ask him to give June a nudge and pass her a laptop.

3- Post pictures of hot swoonable men. As I am an amateur swooner, June will want to correct me and post better, steamier pics of said men on her blogizzle.

As I am out of frequent flier miles and Matt hasn't returned my calls, I will have to resort to #3.

Swoon-city aka Operation Must Find June (hereafter OMFJ).

Josh Duhamel... See how he leans his cheek upon that hand. Oh to be a glove upon that hand. That i might touch that cheek! Josh...

He is happy to hear that all of Blogland is searching for June. He is smiling thinking of her hot yoga.

Sam Worthington has been praying Hail Mary's for June's safe return. He is quite the good Catholic boy. Look at that baby face. Adorable.

Oh no! Ryan Reynolds. Ryan is soooo worried! He has been up day and night, hasn't shaved in days. Developing some forehead wrinkles which he vows to name "June" and "Six-pack".

Patrick Dempsey is pulling his hair out and has an anxiety disorder now. He cries at night without June. He is quite sensitive you know.

What does this look say? Matt is sultry even when in distress. I think his eyes are trying to disguise the fact that he has June Cleaver under lock and key. He is acting. Acting worried, though he knows exactly where she is. I knew it Matthew. I figured you were screening my calls, but this confirms it!

ok Mrs. Cleaver come out come out wherever you are... and give me some better captions please.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

can't get enough boom boom boom

obsessed with this song. if you haven't heard it... don't tell me or anyone else. be very ashamed and clickety click this here link. imediamente. boom boom pow.mp3 - black eyed peas
[aside: is it weird that I sometimes want to be Fergie? Mostly bc I covet her man. And her abs.]

Oh, hi there Josh. Welcome uptown. You are always welcome. Always.

I also happen to be obsessed with this little known and under-appreciated fact:
Sam Champion is forever in my debt. For-EV-er.
Today is sunny (read: not pouring down rain). So was yesterday. So was Monday. You're welcome. i got your back Sammy Sam Sam. Sam Sam.

Yes, as you probably guessed, I bought rain boots. Bc of the "jinx", I haven't had to wear them. Obvi. I apologize for not buying rain boots during any of the recent monsoons this summer. That would've ended them fo shizzle my nizzle lemon drizzle. Fo sho.

These are the actual boots (or some that I found online that remind me of them- whatevs, close enough). You like?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Its that time once again... time to pass or fail my quiz... ok no real grading scale... just do it to it.

Since this is my own personal blogizzle I will start by quizzing you about me :) and your thoughts on my summer look. So, more of a survey.

Question 1: Should I dye my hair? Background: I've never dyed. Never ever. Except once in 7th grade I sprayed a little Sun-In. It didn't work. The reason I'm considering this major life-changing step is because of the tiny little sicknast greys. Grey hairs. I said it. I said it out loud and proud. Not proud. Sad. I blame my eX. I only had about 3 pesky greys until that drama started. By the time we were thru I ended up with a whole section near the front of my hair. I have 10-12. Eek. So, Petra said that I should think about doing some color in that one section of my hair. She would hide the color so that it would grow out well? I have no idea. Hair color=Greek to me. In a "I don't speak Greek and never did the sorority thing" way... not the "I want to go to Greece to meet a hot swoony man who speaks little to no English" way. Back to the quiz.

a- Yes! Uptown Girl, dye your hair- dye all of it _______ (pick a shade/color)

b- Yes! Just dye the grey area- dye it ________ (shade/color)

c- Yes! Just dye the grey area- dye it to match your current brunette locks.

d- NO! no way jose. don't touch your hair. be au natural.

e- hrmmmmm hemmm hawwww. not sure. go for a consultation and bring back more info.

Question 2: Gladiator Sandals? What do you think?

a- LOVE THEM... feeling like I might run into Russell Crowe if I sport Gladiators...

b- Like them. They are ok on others, but I just could never pull off that style.

c- Gladiator what now?

d- Not a fan of anything requiring multiple strappies wrapping all about my legs.

e- NEVER ever ick eww. Sick. Sandals should not make me look like I am in the circus maximus.

Question 3: Aviator Sunglasses

a- LOVE THEM... feeling like I might meet Leo DiCaprio flying the blue skies...

b- Like them. I might try them and see what response I get from my fans.

c- Ok for you, not a good style for the shape of my face.

d- Not a fan. This is not 1975. I am not a cop.

e- NEVER ever. I don't want to wear them and I don't want to see you wearing them. ever.

switching it up. get ready. set. go.

Question 4: Would you rather spend a sunny day:

a- at the beach

b- poolside

c- inside

d- at the movies


Question 5: Would you rather spend a rainy summer day:

a- at the movies

b- inside being lazy

c- inside being productive

d- inside being makey outey

e- shopping

Thursday, June 18, 2009

rain rain go away... come again never.

Oh Sam, I am soooooo sick of this cold, rainy, frizzy month of June. Where oh where is my summer weather? Isn't global warming supposed to take care of this for me? Why have I been spraying all that aerosol hairspray if not to make nyc like a tropical island?
Would someone please get Al Gore on the line for me? He has some explaining to do. Both about this inconvenient weather and about the beard I saw him sporting. Has he shaved it yet? Need to know. I can't decide whether I like it or not. I feel mostly 'or not' about it. Tell me your deep thoughts on this one.

Get the image of Al out of your head. Shake it out. Sorry about that. So sorry. Uncalled for. I know.
You know what a day like today is good for....... use your imagination. Now, get your mind out of the gutter and I will tell you what I am referring to. [yes all you grammar-nazis, i know i end lots o' sentences with props. me like it that way.]

Anticipating this crappy-arse weather, Uptown Biotch and I coordinated a work Happy Hour tonight. We planned it a few weeks ago. How smart was that?

I mean, on a dreary icky day, what else do you want to do after work? Options: have a nap or have a beer.

We chose beer. Wisely. Psychically. Obvi.

We also chose to have our beer for free. That's right. Aww to the yeah. Our beer is being sponsored (officially or unofficially I don't know/care) by one of our pharmaceutical reps. We got a group of our residents to come drink for free with us. I know what you are thinking- it is true genius. Thank you for noticing. I completely agree. Completely.

Now this last pic is for June. Both the month and the long-lost-bestest-blogger. [don't get so offended all you other bloggers. you know it is true. her blog is better than yours. go take some notes.]

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

you say i'm a bitch like it's a bad thing

Anyone who is anyone knows to live by Patti Stenger's dating philosophy.
I miss her. I really do. I miss watching the millionaires act like fools and miss out on the awesome girls. I miss watching Patti try to put these lamespice dudes thru dating rehab. I miss her rules and her temper tantrums. Most of all I miss her 5 different cell phones. [i shed a tear just now. i rly did.]

So my friends, if I seem like a little Debbie Downer today it is because I am still in withdrawal.

I will try my very bestest to cheer you up and give you a taste of my upper-eastside morning today.

No rain!!! Can you believe it? I cannot. I really really cannot.

AND I saw a lovely ad where Sam Champion was interviewing ppl in Central Park and telling them about the free summer concerts. I was just so happy to see him on this non-rainy Wednesday. That awesome blossom of a weatherman. Meteorologist of my daydreams. Thanks Sammy Sam Sam Sam!

Last but not least, I am going to attempt to share a taste of imeem with you. Lets see if this works.......

This one is for your knee Liza Lize. Bruises - Chairlift

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

all is fair in love or war

Plese click the link... I hope you will forgive me... when I tried to embed this onto the blogizzle it was way to fat wide. Rood. Lamespice.

So yeah, click click click away. And tell me what you think.

This was sent to me by my coworker-in-crime hereafter dubbed "Uptown Biotch".

I believe this was written more as a declaration, so I'd like you to declare this. Read aloud. If you are around coworkers or children or passers by on the street or on the bus, all the better. Let them hear. Let them listen. Let them learn.

I'm not presently broken-hearted or anything (I know how worried you get about my fragile uptown heart) but I like it. It is a good reminder to guard your heart. But also to love passionately, live fully, and expect battle wounds. Like Pat Benatar says...

We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong
Searching our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

Thursday, June 11, 2009


Please consult this link to get a full understanding of what I mean when I say (in lowercase letters): babs.

My date had to cancel. He was very nice about it and had good reasons.

He wants to reschedule for Sunday. After referring to pages 72-76 in my paperback version of "The Guide to Being the Biggest Bitch You Can Be: Owning It", I responded "I'll have to get back to you".

Yes, I want to reschedule. I just can't do it so soon after posting my pretty (pretty awesome!) outfit on the blogizzle. That would just be painful.

It would also convey the wrong message- that I was jumping up and down just dying for this date. While I was looking fwd to it more than I care to admit, it is only a 3rd date. And date #2 was over 2 weeks ago. It was a good one. We played Connect 4. We drank good beer. But I think I should repeat: it was over 2 wks ago now. So whatevski.

If I am perfectly honest with you (and you know how I hate to hide things from my fans and how the stalker-razzi eventually learns all) then I will have to just come out and admit it: ready? ok.

Deep cleansing breath in, deep cleansing breath out. I am mainly upset that I got this kick-arse outfit together, courtesy of Liza, and now can't wow him with my hotness until Sunday.

[assuming i say yes- and I am 99.9% sure that I will say yes once I am no longer wearing my Liza's beautious necklace that makes me look like the debutante that I am]

done. doner.

It is icky and rainy outside today anyways and my hair is starting to frizz. Sunday is supposed to be beautiful. Please come thru for me this one time Sam Champion. My adorable little blonde gay man who decides the weather. Help an uptown girl out this once. Or I will cut you.


Hi, I want to be the little old lady who lived in a shoe.

Don't worry June all you many many bloggers out there. I did not end up with any of the horrible clothing options described below. No cardigan.

Once Liza came home I had a fresh idea and her years of fashion and dating expertise to assist me in choosing and outfit that would be work-dinner-date appropriate while also making me look like the cutie patootie that you all know and love. *wink*. *wink wink*.

Liza is just the smartest most cleverest sister a girl could have. She made me try on the outfit with all the jewelry, shoes, the works. And then I had my very own photo shoot. The camera loves me after all. And the papa razzi will just never leave me alone. Rather than let the papa razzi stalk me and then sell my photos, I will publish Liza's sweet pics right here. Right now.

Wait for it...

Wait for it..........

Oh and please try not to be disturbed by the fact that I have no head in these pics. This photo shoot was done sans hair and makeup prep.

Without further ado, I present.... my outfit.
Notice the lacy navy blue top. It is a blue tank top with a lace overlay and a beautiful scalloped neckline.
See me workin that thang? Aww to the yeah.
The frilly top is paired with navy blue pants that fit and feel like soft jeans. For $20. Thanks H&M.
Please ignore the bit of poofy of hair visible in this shot. Ignore it or I will cut you.
Here are the famous metallic shoes. Bandolino loves me. And I love Bandolino. Maybe too much?
That there is the tiny wooden wedge I was telling you about. Makes me clack like I'm wearing high heels. Haha everyone in the office who hears me clacking around all day. Haha.
This is the charming necklace Liza lent me for the day. Isn't it lovely? Quite.
Bedazzled. Bedazzling. Be to the DAZZLE.
This is my beautious cuff bracelet. My bestie, Helena, gave it to me for my bday. I heart it. Fo rizzle my nizzle lemon drizzle.
Ok, I will give you just one head shot. Just one little peek.
Don't I resemble Elizabeth Taylor? She is my role model for dating and for life.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Fashion emergency!!

Ugh-city. Serio. I have no idea what to wear tomorrow. No idea.

Can you help me pick?

Pretty please?

Ok, yes, I do understand that by the time you read this you will be busy avoiding your responsibilities working. It will already be tomorrow. I will have made my decision. Argh. But NO! I will bring all 3 options with me and can change if necessary. Sometimes I'm so stinking smart I scare myself.

What would you suggest? I have a long and busy day.

First I have work. It is business casual. I usually wear something chic and neutral. Or frumpy and ugly. Depends on what phase of avoiding laundry I am in. Obvi. My outfit generally involves, a blouse or tank/cardigan combo with slacks, flats, and some fun accessories.

Next I'm going out to dinner with some friends from work. My doctor favorito is moving to another office. So, as a nice goodbye, he is taking a few of us out to this Italian restaurant along with his wife and daughter. I'm really looking forward to it. No, not only the pasta, but yes that has been on my mind for quite some time. Thank you for noticing.

After that I have a date. Ok calm down. Get over your shock. Close your gaping mouth as your coworkers do not need to see your chin hanging open in surprise. Yes. I go on dates. That is not the dilemma at hand. I'm just not accustomed to going out on dates without stopping home to primp and change into something snazzylicious.

Whats an uptown girl to do??


1- White flowy, billowy Banana blouse with light blue cardigan, navy blue pants, metallic flats with small wedge, gold jewelry.

2- Black tank, grey cardigan with puffy-cuffed-sleeves, black slacks, same flats/jewelry.

3- Black and white Ann Taylor's Loft blouse with geometric shapes and a scoop neck with a black bow, 3 quarter length sleeves, black slacks, same flats/jewelry.

Geez, what a boring snooze. I wish I had some better options to offer for your voting pleasure. I don't think I have any good dresses or skirts that would transition well.

My sweet little sister Liza just got home and I will force ask her to help, too. If we come up with any better options I'll update you in the a.m. She is a fashion/everything in life genius with a kick-arse closet. How lucky am I?

Now please go comment. Pick option 1, 2, or 3. I will take a pic of the final outfit and post it for your viewing pleasure.

disclaimer: I ran/walked 5 miles before blogging. I am exhausted and not thinking clearly. That is my excuse for my lamespiciness tonight. Forgive me. Love me. Help me choose a look!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

my one true love

TIME OUT! this is perfection. aww to the yeah. can your day get any better? no. it cannot.

Friday, June 5, 2009

I am an optimist

Tonight is my youngest sister's 8th grade graduation. Sacot. I graduated 8th grade from the same school just weeks after she was born.
In light of that fact, I will be heading out to NJ to watch Bina graduate in what promises to be a very boring ceremony at my former grade school. Yes, you heard me right. I hate have a strong dislike for sitting through graduations. I like watching the whole diploma bit, and I like seeing all the caps and gowns, but the rest is a snooze. Literally. I usually fall asleep during parts of these things. Am I embarrassed? Not at all. The one who should be embarrassed is the person who planned on dragging the thing out so damn long.

As the eternal optimist that I am, I am posting this next pic ahead of time.
I can do it. I can totally do this. No biggie. (I'm giving myself a pep-talk, don't hate). Ain't no thang. I've sat through Pre-K, Kindergarten, 8th grade, High School, and College graduations so many times for my so many siblings and myself that I could puke. Also sacraments and plays and sports events. By the time I have my own kids I might just opt out. "I have a headache Little Uptown Princess, I'm sending the nanny to watch you hear a long lecture to commemorate this milestone in your life. See you at the after-party. Cheers."

What I can def do is the grad party. This weekend my big brother will be in town with his wife and kids, so it will be a mini-family-reunion of sorts where we will party like rock-stars and create lasting bremories amid the boring ceremony and whatever stressful drama we can drum up. Done and doner. And donest.

Congrats Bina! You made it to summer vacay and got good grades and have awesome older sisters and brothers!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Strike 1

word to your mother I know how to strike words now. Yeah, that's the kind of girl I am.
I blog, I type a sentence, but then I decide I really want to say something else. No, I decide I want to say both special little somethings. So usually I add a parenthesis. You've seen them, they are all over my blogizzle. Fo shizzle my nizzle lemon drizzle.
Yay! I am learning to blog better. Thanks to Urban Mom my blogging mentor for all the help!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Oh. It feels good to be FREE.

I have some important news for you. You know how most single gals want to be in a relationship? Well, I have a solution better than any other. Even better than a relationship.

What?? What you ask? Ok, since you asked so nicely... I'll tell you.

No, not yet. First let's discuss the following scenario. All your girlfriends are in relationships. They are in love. They are paired off and it is PDA central. They get flowers and chocolates. They go on dates. You feel all "poor me, poor me... woe is me". It is called jealousy. You want what they have (on the good days).

What you don't know is that, not only do they have the flowers and the kisses, but they also have long discussions, arguements, miscommunications, etc etc we are not here to discuss that. Moving on.

Oh rewind, did you forget about that part of your last relationship? Yeah, it wasn't pretty. I remember because you dished every last detail about 25 times. It was juicy in a "I don't think I like juice anymore" kind of way. I've been there myself. Not here to talk about that. La la la di da.

Now I will tell you about my discovery. I learned to appreciate my girlfriends' boyfriends. You may need to reread that sentence to get my meaning. I know I did.

I realized that I get a lot of the perks of a relationship without the heartache and work of techinically being in one! For example: Last week my roommate's BF bought a blender for our apt and put our new lamp together for us. Sweet smoothie-city! On Saturday I was sad about something and my sister's BF bought me flowers, my favorite chocolatey Starbuck's drink, and sunglasses. Sweet serio-city! Yeah, I felt way better after that.

Some math for you: flowers + chocolate + brotherly love=all smiles for miles.

Yes, I am blessed. I am a lucky duckie.

I know what you are thinking. I don't get the makey-outey perks. First of all- eww, I don't want to do that with my girlfriends' boyfriends. What kind of girl do you think I am?! Rude. Secondly, I didn't say it is the SAME thing as being in a relationship. I just said I appreciate it. And in ways it is better. Lots of perks and zero jerks (read: I don't exactly have the knack for picking winners, but my friends do!).

Ta-tah for now!

Uptown Girl