Thursday, June 25, 2009

Where oh where did my June Cleaver go? Oh where oh where can she be?

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN??? Tall, skinny, natural blond, looks about 22, legs for miles... drinks like a fish... you know... June Cleaver!? Well she has gone missing. I know I am not the only concerned blogger because I have lurked on your blogs and seen your worried comments.

Trying to be the best virtual friend I can be, I racked my brains thinking what could make her come out of hiding (assuming/hoping she is in fact in hiding and alive). I came up with a couple of options.

1- Fly to Omaha, NE and scour the city. Go door-to-door looking for a drunk blond.

2- Call Matthew McConaughey and ask him to give June a nudge and pass her a laptop.

3- Post pictures of hot swoonable men. As I am an amateur swooner, June will want to correct me and post better, steamier pics of said men on her blogizzle.

As I am out of frequent flier miles and Matt hasn't returned my calls, I will have to resort to #3.

Swoon-city aka Operation Must Find June (hereafter OMFJ).

Josh Duhamel... See how he leans his cheek upon that hand. Oh to be a glove upon that hand. That i might touch that cheek! Josh...

He is happy to hear that all of Blogland is searching for June. He is smiling thinking of her hot yoga.

Sam Worthington has been praying Hail Mary's for June's safe return. He is quite the good Catholic boy. Look at that baby face. Adorable.

Oh no! Ryan Reynolds. Ryan is soooo worried! He has been up day and night, hasn't shaved in days. Developing some forehead wrinkles which he vows to name "June" and "Six-pack".

Patrick Dempsey is pulling his hair out and has an anxiety disorder now. He cries at night without June. He is quite sensitive you know.

What does this look say? Matt is sultry even when in distress. I think his eyes are trying to disguise the fact that he has June Cleaver under lock and key. He is acting. Acting worried, though he knows exactly where she is. I knew it Matthew. I figured you were screening my calls, but this confirms it!

ok Mrs. Cleaver come out come out wherever you are... and give me some better captions please.


Gina said...

awww...swoonables. I miss June, too!

Urban Mom said...

The blogoverse is just so quiet without June! God help me if she checks her statcounter. 6,000 hits from Chicago.... so embarrassing.

You, however, have learned well from June!! My oh my are you a good student of the swoon!

june cleaver said...

Ahhhhhhh... that was great! I will come out of hiding simply for you because I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I will be back soon I PROMISE!

In the meantime-well done grasshopper, well done.


Uptown Girl said...

yay June! I smoked you out, and that was my goal :)
Take your time coming back June, do what you need to do... I am just glad to know you are alive and kickin!
I love you like a short girl loves heels. (did that one work?)

rita said...

I've been so worried too! Thank you for flushing June out.

I miss you all! My three favorite bloggers in one comment!

Uptown Girl said...

I may have to post some more hottness to keep you cool kids coming back...