Tuesday, March 30, 2010


On a rainy day like today (thanks to Sam Champion who is so very rude to send us this downpour), I think it's a good idea to brighten up the internet with a smile!

You're never fully dressed without a smile!

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
-Phyllis Diller

Peace begins with a smile.
-Mother Teresa
and my personal fave...
SMILE: it won't mess up your hair!
-Homeless Man on the 6 Train

Monday, March 29, 2010

secret cake club... shhhh!

Have you heard of the prohibition and how it led to people making their own alcohol and drinking secretly? Secret knocks? Secret clubs where only the elite are invited in? Oh you have?

Here in NYC we have a few secret clubs of our own. My sister visited a bar on Saturday that served booze in teacups and had a secret entrance.

Even better, I am now a member of a secret society of my own. In this world where gluttony and sugar are taboo, one has to binge out on cake in the most private setting possible you know. I don't want to be caught with icing on my face by any puritanical nutritionists, diabetics, or corn-syrup haters. That would be too awkward.

Luckily, there weren't any raids last night at the oh-so-secret cake club (so secret I cannot reveal the name).

It's a wonder I even made it there. This was the process to join:
1- Go to secret website and submit a request for approval.
2- An email was sent out with specific directions re: what day and what time to RSVP online to be considered for the monthly cake club. You must RSVP at this specific time.
4- An invitation is sent in the mail with a phone number to text.
5- The text results in a return text with the address of the club.
6- At the club, a gentleman waits at the door checking names and approving admission (and taking $20 per head).

I can only compare this to the college application process. But the benefits were much greater than a college acceptance.

My friend and I attended the 7pm shift. Roughly ten cake lovers arrive every hour starting at 6pm and ending at midnight to devour the goods served with gold spoons in a small but lovely apartment.

My camera phone does NOT do justice to the deliciocity before you. The theme for last night's club was a variation on typical American desserts. The cake maker stood in her kitchen serving sample sizes of all kinds of tempting desserts. Twinkies made with a banana flavor. Apple Bread Crisp. Strawberry Shortcake. Homemade Donuts. Chocolate Wafer Cake with Whipped Cream. Coca-Cola Flavored Ice Cream. Budweiser Flavored Ice Cream.

I don't know what made me capitalize all the foods just now except for my undying respect for their memory. And I should tell you... that is just a sampling. There were even more options available for my binge enjoyment than I can recall.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the highlight of my weekend - the glitz and the glamor of the gorge. And to say: eat your heart out Blogland!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Casual Friday

Do you get to do casual Fridays? We wear business casual in my office. Get this- I'm not even allowed to wear scrubs. And I have a ton of 'em collecting dust in my apartment. No joke. To be fair, the dress code is pretty fair and lenient. I can't wear jeans, but I get away with wearing very very casual pants (jeans in disguise actually) and even sneakers whenever I so choose.

That said... last year when I asked if we could have Casual Friday and wear jeans, my boss said, "sure, of course you can wear jeans on Friday. And you can even leave early, too. Go home and start searching I-need-a-job-dot-com".
He would say that to me. A lot. This boss began to expect what he considered to be outlandish requests to fly out of my Uptown Girl mouth. And I began to expect bossman to refer me to search the internet for job opportunities.
Oh the memories. I now have a different boss who might not humor my frequent humorous requests. Alas, I will have to settle for causal Fridays instead and cause a little raucous here in the office. It is way too quiet today and we need a little action... even if it lands my coworkers and me on I-need-a-job-dot-com. nbd. Any office prank ideas you'd like to share? Please do bc I need some ammunition.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Holly Hobby

What are my hobbies and interests?
Some guy I have never met asked me this question. This is online dating in all it's glory.

"What are your other hobbies and interests?" was the actual Q.

Oh, because you are recycling the same question and think that is ok because I must knit or something and forgot to mention it in a previous email?

As in: other than running (the original hobby/interest I told him about)? As in: other than hanging out with my friends and family, going for drinks, or dinner, or coffee, or dancing (which I also mentioned). Other than tv and reading which are listed on my profile (and yes I consider those interests)? Other than belonging to a book club (also listed on the profile)?


Do I dare tell him my true hobbies?

1- I am a self-declared-Pulitzer-Prize-Winning-Author of a blog. A sparkly, chic, fabulous blog.
2- I follow and read many blogs. I leave comments.
3- I do some Facebook stalking from time to time.
4- I DVR, follow, and critique some great tv shows.
5- I enjoy sightseeing. I view as many hunky men per day as I can whilst en route to and from work or to and from lunch.
6- I eat meals and snacks.
7- I make some tasty popcorn.
8- I enjoy being the most glam uptown girl you can imagine.
9- I email with total strangers on the internet just because they look cute and live within 30 miles... although maybe those pics are 5 years and 45 pounds and a full head of hair ago old... when you were taller.... although the men I'm emailing with could turn into stalkers or serial killers... so I could classify this hobby/interest as "taking risks". Maybe?
10- I make a killer list of hobbies and interests.

Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe this will be my rough draft for that email. Success.

true story

I hope I win money on college basketball games so I can pay back the college I actually attended

Friday, March 19, 2010

oh, you want my digits?

I think someone should start a Facebook Group called "Can I... can I... can I get your number Uptown Girl??". Apparently it's the latest and greatest thing to do.

I had three people ask for my digits this week and one simply offer his own.
What is going on in the universe? Oh, thank you for asking. I will fill you in.

I went to this running club on Wednesday for the second time. Yes, it was St. Patrick's Day. Yes, I love all things Irish. Yes, I punked out on celebrating this year so that I could run. Yes, I am a major athlete now, go figure. I was running at the same pace as a couple of other girls and we ran our marathon our 3.5 miles together. After the run, two girls asked me for my phone number so we can run together again. I'm pretty excited because I've been hoping and praying for a running partner to help me stay motivated. Awesome.

Next. Last night I went to see my coworker's band play. One of the residents (aka doctors-in-training) I work with asked me for my phone number so that he and I could coordinate taking the train downtown to the concert. Did I end up on a date with him last night? Maybe. That remains unclear... he was quite attentive... and he did buy my drinks... what else would I want in a date??

Last but not least, a guy I've been emailing with and def stalking interested in via internet dating (as interested as you can get without meeting someone...) finally asked me to get drinks and gave me his number. Way to step up that E-game. What a baller. I suppose that even though I don't call boys as a rule, I'll be calling this one. Now is when I miss the days before Caller ID and *69. What I would give for a drive by call. Oh to call, hear his voice, and hang up. A girl can dream. Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories...

With all the digits flying to and fro, I'm starting to feel a little bit like Yvonne here.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Fairy Tale Time

Once upon a time in Blogland... there were two celebrity bloggers... Ann-tidote and Uptown Girl.

They were connected by Liza, one lovely lady who knows how to own it. Liza happens to be Uptown Girl's sister and Ann's bestie from college. They were also connected by one lovely blog (linked above, started by Liza) where they both contribute. Where they both got their start as bloggy babies, if you will. Oh you will? Great, let's continue down memory lane.
Ann is an aspiring uptown girl and Uptown Girl is an aspiring fashionista and shoe collector. They were destined to be friends since they were both fabulous in their own right (and had much to learn from one another).
The time finally came. These two star-crossed bloggers sealed their fate when they partied in NYC. As fate would have it, when these two met, dreams came true.

Here are the pictures to prove their meeting, and to prove that they are now real life friends in addition to being virtual blog buddies. Success!

Ann-tidote, Liza, and Uptown Girl
-The beginning.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

A Taxing Experience

How am I supposed to know how to file these taxes? I'm no accountant. But TurboTax isn't quite as helpful as I hoped.

I worked three Saturdays for a medical group witnessing as lots of people suffered through colonoscopies on my watch. It turns out that 1) I hate working Saturdays in the summer and 2) I need to eat at regular intervals or I get pretty cranky. Even if all my patients are having colonoscopies. I still have a healthy appetite. Yeah, that per diem job taught me a lot. But that is not what I'm here to tell you.

I'm here to tell you that taxes were not taken out of my paycheck and I am now trying for the life of me to sort this out. TurboTax thinks I am self-employed. I tried telling the TurboTax Virtual Assistant about my problem, but that biotch Tina was no help at all. Well, the convo went a little something like this...

You (Uptown Girl) said:
I was in no way, shape, or form performing colonoscopies out of my apartment. I don't run a small business, I promise.

Tina said:
I'm sorry, but I didn't understand your question. Please try restating it using different words and I'll try to find you an answer.

I am a computer, not a person, so please keep your question short and ask one question at a time.


I may have to go pay H&R Block to help me file these taxes. I have this hang-up about filing my taxes the right way and not getting arrested or something down the line. I think it stems from the time I went out with a tax attorney (a one date wonder) and let me tell you, those IRS guys are pretty darn serious about taking all the money from my paychecks as is legal.

Friday, March 12, 2010

An Affair to Understand

Who doesn't love the classic movie, An Affair to Remember? It is one of my all-time faves. In my never-to-be-humble opinion, the best line in the movie is this...

Terry McKay: "Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories... And we've already missed the spring!"

I love this line yet, I never fully know what it means!

Is Terry trying to say that she and Nickie (Carey Grant) made some warm memories during their time together?

What do you think our lovely heroine is actually saying here?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

In Pursuit

I have this little nagging feeling that I recently heard someone talking about this topic or quite possibly read about it in a blog post? If I am stealing your idea then I apologize, but really you should be flattered so I take back my apology.

Last night, I was speaking with a very wise older woman named Jane who sort of reminds me of my grandmother (who is also named Jane, may she rest in peace). This woman said that, "The thing is, we aren't going to be happy all the time. Life isn't all about being happy, no one is happy all the time and that shouldn't be the goal. The whole pursuit of happiness idea can be very misleading. Life is about being able to handle what comes at you". Now, I pretty much agree with this statement. But my take on this is a bit different.

I do think that Jane is right- life is not about being happy all the time. I don't exactly enjoy having feelings of sadness, loss, or anger when they arrive on the scene in my life. I don't like having hard days at work or having pain physically or emotionally. It sucks. But it is good for me. How would I even enjoy the happy times if I didn't have sad times to compare them to? I appreciate a good day a lot more after a crappy one. I love to bask in sunshine after a cold winter.

Even though the hard times help me grow, I still wish life were happy all the time. But that isn't reality. Even for an Uptown Girl like me.

In the last few years I have been through my share of suffering and sadness. Although I would never wish to see those days again, and I wouldn't wish hard times on anyone, I have to admit that I do find meaning in the suffering (now that I'm thru much of it!).

One of my all-time favorite quotes is from "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring". It is a conversation between Frodo and Gandalf.
Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
This is one of those quotes that speaks to me. I keep it stored away in the back of my mind and think about it when I need it. What I want to do with my time is keep up the pursuit of happiness and pay attention to the lessons on the way there.

And I've grown leaps and bounds (if I do say so myself). I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned the hard way that I need to trust my gut in decision making. I've learned that if I set my mind to a daunting task I can accomplish it. I've learned to let myself feel pain and hurt rather than stuff or avoid negative feelings. I've learned to cry when I feel like crying and laugh the rest of the time. All in the pursuit of happiness and health.

Life isn't about being happy all the time, it is about the pursuit. In the pursuit of happiness we hit bumps on the road and detours taking us down back alleys; we go off-roading at times and we get flat tires (to stick with the analogy). And if we missed all that and arrived at the destination of happiness without the twists and turns and flat tires, we would also miss life lessons on how to call AAA change a tire. We'd miss the personal growth that shapes us into mature adults. I am personally grateful for the painful lessons I've learned in my twenties. Maybe I would be a happier person without all the life lessons, but I wouldn't lead a very full life. I wouldn't know how to do half of what I can now do. I wouldn't be the amazing Uptown Girl you see before you. Actually, I wouldn't even be an Uptown Girl at all. It is because of my personal pursuit of happiness that I moved to the Upper Eastside, started writing posts on my sister's blog (and then she told me to start my own), I started running, I tried almonds. All big things. Because of my pursuit I'm a pretty big deal.

Who knows what is next for me? Maybe I'll arrive at perfect happiness sooner than I think, but probably not. I will keep up the pursuit.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Rezzy Roundup 2

As I think back on my New Year's Rezzies, and even where I was at one month ago, I have to say that I'm doing quite glitteringly great. As one would expect of an Uptown Girl, I suppose.

Rez 1- I would like to grow an inch or 2. I think I'm well on my way. Lately I've really been feeling taller. You know when you stand near other people and sometimes feel short or tall based on everyone else's heights?? I've been feeling pretty tall.

Rez 2- I will kiss a handsome man this year. Please read the previous 2 posts to learn that no where in the descriptions of my dates dates did I mention kisses. I'm being picky with this one. I have precious lips.


Rez 4- I will be more dedicated to my running. This is the one I wanted to tell you about most! I signed up for my 10K. It is on April 3rd and I'm so excited about it. Running a 10K was my personal running goal for the whole year, so if I am able to complete the run without collapsing, I'll have to set a new goal. Impressive? *Glitteringly great*? I know.

Rez 5- I resolve to party. More. Working on it. Between celebrating my sister's engagement last weekend and going out with friends from out of town this weekend, I may have to change this rez to party less.

Rez 6- I will stay in touch. Not doing so hot here, however my friends from Georgia are staying with me this weekend and we are going to do lots of catching up. That counts for something right?


Rez 8- I will take suggestions from you... Obvi! Any questions or post ideas? Lay it on me...

How are your rezzies coming along?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

date recap continued... a recap recap

Remember yesterday when I described Bachelor #2? Well he has since changed his tune. Probably after somehow finding my blog or catching a glimpse of me on TMZ.

Not two hours after I posted about the lack of follow-up to our date, Bachelor #2 texted me. I was half excited and half annoyed. I mean, I had just flipped that little imaginary switch in my mind that internally ended things with the Pilot (since he had flown out of sight).

I waited until after work to text back. We texted back and forth maybe 2 texts each and then Mr. Pilot answered my Q (about what cities he was flying to) kind of bluntly. He answered but didn't ask me a question. And I didn't know what to say, if I should text back, or if I should leave it at that. I was lost in the texting world and in need of some guidance. I needed a texting expert.

Once I was home hours later, I discussed the situation with my sister Liza. We couldn't figure out what was going on and Liza said, "Bina would know!". So, I called my teenage sister, Bina, to get her advice. At 14-and-a-half she is Queen of the Text after all. I knew she would know proper texting etiquette. Bina told me that she would be insulted by the last text, but that since the Pilot started the texting this offset that last response cancelling it out. Bina expertly formulated my next text, including an aloof line letting the Pilot know that I was now at home (in hopes he might call rather than text), and asking if he was looking forward to his trip.

His response was again a conversation ender. "Yes very excited..." I quickly forwarded this to Bina who wrote:
Bina- "did he do the dot dot dot?"
Uptown Girl- "yep"
Bina- "ok dump him like a hot tamale"
UG- "Hah! k"
Bina- "well unless u really like him and u r willing to work it out"
UG- "Maybe if he ever calls"
Bina- "ok well keep shining little flower"
UG- "I'm a star!"
Bina- "yay fly little bird fly! :)"

What is with this texting epidemic? I am not a fan. I mean, I text. I text for informational purposes, in addition to real conversations on the phone and face-to-face. Not as a sole means of communication. It is so impersonal. And so confusing.
I'm thinking: What did that dot dot dot mean?
Thinking: Was I supposed to text back?
Thinking: Was that a goodbye?
Thinking: Why am I picking apart this ellipsis punctuation?
Thinking: Why don't I add "Total Eclipse of the Heart" to my iPod?
Thinking: Why am I texting this guy at all?
Thinking: Why doesn't he use his actually voice to talk to me?
Thinking: I'm done with the Pilot. Again. Unless maybe he calls me for real. Fo shizzle my nizzle lemon drizzle.

Phewf. Glad that's done. And I'm grateful to my besties and sisters and faithful blog followers for all the support and advice during the beginning stages of insanitydating. I've discovered that I hate the early stages of dating. And the middle. And the end. I may turn down all future men and dates and stick to my stalkers like Jenna on 30 Rock.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

date recap

I went on 2 first dates in February. I haven't mentioned much about these dates because they were one-time-wonders. But, out of the goodness that is my heart, I'll fill you in on the deets.
The first first date was a very talkative gentlemanly teacher. Cute and sweet and not for me for the following reasons...

1-Bachelor #1 is pretty way-into Broadway shows*. I like shows too. But as my Georgia Peaches will tell you, it isn't really my thang. I just usually have something else I'd rather spend my $$ on rather than the ticket. This dude comes from the suburbs for Broadway. I can't be bothered to leave the Upper Eastside for it. [*clearly this would be a workable and horizon-broadening issue if we clicked]
2-Bachelor #1 doesn't eat carbs or sweets or cheese or fatty meats. We went to a great Italian restaurant for dinner and he ordered a salad. What now? He is a little neurotic about his food. So am I, but in the opposite direction. Snacking is my best sport.
3- Bachelor #1 yapped my ear off about multiple topics and referred to future dates ad nauseum. And yet he never set one up! This turns out to be a good thing since I enjoy pasta and ice cream more than I enjoyed the date.

Moving on.

The second first date was with another gentlemanly and talkative guy. A pilot. A cute pilot with broad shoulders (broad shoulders equal uber swoonable in my eyes) who eats every meal like it's his last. A healthy appetite. My kind of guy but not for me for the following reasons...

1- Bachelor #2 lives pretty far out there. About an hour away in the boonies. I would be forced to leave the UES regularly if I dated this man. I can't write more on this because the sheer thought is making me hyperventilate and I now need a brown paper bag. Excuse me.

2- Bachelor #2 never called. What the heck?? I am perfectly happy when a guy I don't like doesn't call, but if I like you even a little bit you should call. kthanksbye.

I can only assume that Bachelor #2 either died or he is intimidated by my beauty and elite status. It's a toss up. Maybe both. How sad. Although I am an Uptown Girl and socialite heiress, I do have feelings. I know, I know, catch your breath, is this like reading the magazines with the "celebrities are just like us" sections? "They drink Starbucks." "They pick wedgies." "They carry Kleenex." And now you are thinking, "They have feelings, too". True story. I have feelings just like regular girls in small towns everywhere. And, am I right or am I right when I say that it is disappointing when the guy you like doesn't call?? Yes, I am right.
It was just one date so I'm not verklempt or feeling anything severe. Just temporarily disappointed. Babs. But my pity party is over friends. Over I tell you. It is now time to embark on something I like to call owning it, "ALWAYS reaching for more, choosing joy in situations and not letting the situation determine your joy!"- Mary T.

Just like Tenley, I deserve a guy who sees my worth. And I now see that pilots are over-rated these days. This season, the Bachelor tv show drilled that point home thoroughly.

I'd prefer to date a hunky millionaire anyway. I'm destined to be a lady of leisure you know. And an Empress.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

As Overheard in NY (1st Edition)

"Why do they have to ruin this movie with all the singing?"
-overheard in my living room from my bff Lovey while watching the classic Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
I loved this movie as a child. Only God and my mother know why. Now I can hardly look at Milly with that crazy hair-do and frighteningly teensy waist. How the heck does she sing or breathe without a life-sized torso?And yet, somehow I'm mesmerized. Captivated. Can't seem to tear my eyes away from the on-screen spectacle. It's really something like a phenomenon.

Oh and when the brothers jump through axes while balancing on a board? Sexy.