Wednesday, March 3, 2010

date recap

I went on 2 first dates in February. I haven't mentioned much about these dates because they were one-time-wonders. But, out of the goodness that is my heart, I'll fill you in on the deets.
The first first date was a very talkative gentlemanly teacher. Cute and sweet and not for me for the following reasons...

1-Bachelor #1 is pretty way-into Broadway shows*. I like shows too. But as my Georgia Peaches will tell you, it isn't really my thang. I just usually have something else I'd rather spend my $$ on rather than the ticket. This dude comes from the suburbs for Broadway. I can't be bothered to leave the Upper Eastside for it. [*clearly this would be a workable and horizon-broadening issue if we clicked]
2-Bachelor #1 doesn't eat carbs or sweets or cheese or fatty meats. We went to a great Italian restaurant for dinner and he ordered a salad. What now? He is a little neurotic about his food. So am I, but in the opposite direction. Snacking is my best sport.
3- Bachelor #1 yapped my ear off about multiple topics and referred to future dates ad nauseum. And yet he never set one up! This turns out to be a good thing since I enjoy pasta and ice cream more than I enjoyed the date.

Moving on.

The second first date was with another gentlemanly and talkative guy. A pilot. A cute pilot with broad shoulders (broad shoulders equal uber swoonable in my eyes) who eats every meal like it's his last. A healthy appetite. My kind of guy but not for me for the following reasons...

1- Bachelor #2 lives pretty far out there. About an hour away in the boonies. I would be forced to leave the UES regularly if I dated this man. I can't write more on this because the sheer thought is making me hyperventilate and I now need a brown paper bag. Excuse me.

2- Bachelor #2 never called. What the heck?? I am perfectly happy when a guy I don't like doesn't call, but if I like you even a little bit you should call. kthanksbye.

I can only assume that Bachelor #2 either died or he is intimidated by my beauty and elite status. It's a toss up. Maybe both. How sad. Although I am an Uptown Girl and socialite heiress, I do have feelings. I know, I know, catch your breath, is this like reading the magazines with the "celebrities are just like us" sections? "They drink Starbucks." "They pick wedgies." "They carry Kleenex." And now you are thinking, "They have feelings, too". True story. I have feelings just like regular girls in small towns everywhere. And, am I right or am I right when I say that it is disappointing when the guy you like doesn't call?? Yes, I am right.
It was just one date so I'm not verklempt or feeling anything severe. Just temporarily disappointed. Babs. But my pity party is over friends. Over I tell you. It is now time to embark on something I like to call owning it, "ALWAYS reaching for more, choosing joy in situations and not letting the situation determine your joy!"- Mary T.

Just like Tenley, I deserve a guy who sees my worth. And I now see that pilots are over-rated these days. This season, the Bachelor tv show drilled that point home thoroughly.

I'd prefer to date a hunky millionaire anyway. I'm destined to be a lady of leisure you know. And an Empress.


rita said...

Eh. I was married to a millionaire for 17 stupid years. He sucked. And not in a good way.

Obvi your beauty, charm, and uptownness blew Batchelor #2 right out of the water.

M-Cat said...

Of course he was intimidated. And who the hell wants to date someone that you can clearly outeat? i make my husband order big when we go out so that I don't look like the pig.....

Mary said...

So i'm loving this post... And I feel that when you described your Bach #1, you may just have been describing your very favorite (reformed) Georgia Peaches. Healthy food (particularly salads), Broadway shows (I mean they just don't have those where I come from), and then the yapping (I tend to talk a little too much sometimes :) Just sayin... Thankfully we will soon be able to solve this mystery of whether or not we are alike WHEN WE SEE YOU IN LESS THAN 48 HRS!!!! Can't wait :)

Amanda said...

Lame x 2. What kind of guy goes out for a date and orders a salad? That's just asking to be called a sissy (no offense to salads).

maybe you need to go on the millionaire matchmaker. but I think you're too old (sorry -- they only choose girls that are 19-21).

Uptown Girl said...

Rita- You are totally crushing my dreams about the millionare. I'll have to make my own million... or inherit it somehow.

M-Cat- I can outeat anyone. ANYONE.

Mary- you have more personality in your little finger than any guy I've ever gone out with. SEE YOU TONIGHT!

Amanda- isn't that show the best? Although most of the guys aren't so datable... and you're right they are all like 50 but wanting to date 20 yr olds!!