Thursday, May 27, 2010


I have another first date tomorrow night. It's getting to be ridiculous already. My roommates know exactly what I'll say when I get home and they ask about the date.

Me: "It was ok. He was really nice, but I don't really like him like that". Every. single. time.

In the last 5 months, I've gone out with 7 guys from online, 2 guys from real life. 13 dates total.

I sort of liked one guy a little bit (the pilot), and he texted but never called. Rude. I totally liked another guy after only 2 dates and then he dropped off of planet Earth. You do the math. That leaves 7 dudes that I didn't like for one reason or another.

Statistically speaking, I will have a lovely evening eating seafood with my date tomorrow, but will not want to go out with the man again. That is: 85% probability with a mean of 3.

I made that up but I'm sure it is leftover knowledge from my college statistics course. 50% sure.

Anywhooooo this leads me to my newest poll. Yay blog!
Please see the top right-hand internet banner thing and VOTE about my online dating future. My future is in your hands and your mouse. Choose wisely.

Monday, May 24, 2010


The Bachelorette starts tonight...

To be completely honest, I have mixed feelings about Ali.
25 of America's hottest bachelors in one tv show? Doing idiotic over-the-top stuff to win 1 girl? Interviews with studs saying they are in love with a total stranger?

Yeah. I wouldn't miss it.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Shake it like a polaroid picture

I went to a dance class last night at the gym. Latin dance to be exact.
I Cha-cha-cha'd, I Salsa'd, I Samba'd. I don't know how to signify the past tense of these dances. Clearly. That's why I put the 'd.

Anywho back to the Samba. I didn't really get that one and sort of just jumped around. Like skipping while moving my hips. Picture that.

I know, right? Beautiful.

I'm still sore. Yeah, as in: everytime I walk up or down stairs, or try to sit in a chair, or on a toilet (if this is tmi for you, then cover your eyes for the rest) my thighs burn and I have to grab hold of something or someone to keep me steady. I had the same feeling after I walked up 25 flights up stairs for exercise one rainy day a couple months ago.

If you want I can teach you how to Latin dance since you could say I'm sort of like an expert now. Sort of like that.

My inspiration for dance of all types is (of course) the great Napoleon. He knows how to shake his groove thing and move it move it. Uh huh. Aww yeah.

Enjoy this video. It will make your day. Obvi.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I pay attention to current events

Since everybody knows that sharing equals caring, I will happily share my knowledge via someecards.
I'd go to Times Square to prove I'm not afraid of terrorists if I didn't hate everything about Times Square

FYI, there's a romaine lettuce recall going on so make sure to keep eating the unhealthy crap you always do

I wonder if billionaire superhero Tony Stark could clean up an oil spill

I'm hoping that someecards will make a card about that dude hoping to get elected who mis-spoke about his service in/during Vietnam. I laugh everytime it comes on the news, so that'll be a good one. Fo shizzle.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I posted...

I posted over here at Own It today.
About this "real size" model.
Check it out.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Uptown = where it's at.

Last night I left the comfort of the Upper Eastside and headed downtown to a rooftop party in the West Village. It was epic. My bro has a kick-arse rooftop with a sweet view and fun friends. Like me.

The point of this post, however, is to outline why Uptown is superior to Downtown... for those of you who aren't yet convinced. It's far superior. There. Now you know.

When I left the party and looked for a cab, there were none. Zero. My date and I walked all the way East, near Astor Place, before finding a lone cab shining its little light. That is a lie. The cab had people in it and we saw that they were paying and getting out. So we stole the cab before the rightful next passengers noticed. I confess. I stole a cab. But, in my defense, I had been walking for what felt like miles in my Bandolino peep-toe wedges and needed to get back Uptown like [blogfollowers: insert clever analogy here and feel free to comment on it].

Just before finding the only cab in all of downtown NY, we were forced to walk through a makeshift pathway beneath scaffolding (almost every block of NYC has construction). In the pathway were the following:
-a pair of black boots (Aerosoles I think)
-a scent of rank nastiness
-a dead mouse

Also, my date reeeeally wanted to kiss me. Can you blame him? Poor guy. Alas, it was unrequited chemistry.

When I finally made it back to Heaven the Upper Eastside, I saw:
-multiple free taxis shining their lights like stars in the night
-zero dead mice
-ok zero dead or live rodents
-zero men trying to kiss me

I don't know how that last one became an UES plus. Last night it felt like one. Letmetellyou. I was quite happy to have my autonomy back.

Serio. Uptown. What's not to love?

Monday, May 10, 2010

cest la vie

Life has been happening a lot lately. To me.
Serio. Serio-city. Life= busy station.

Quick run-down for you:
Work has been so crazy of late that... one could say that I've been held hostage from Blogland. Without ransom.

My allergies are acting up so much that... one could say my eyes are a river of dreams. Like the song.

I celebrated my mom for 2 days this weekend... one could say she's the luckiest mom in NJ. Have you ever seen a show with "Jersey" in the title? It's not a far leap to say that having an Uptown Girl for a daughter is pretty sweet.

Gym= joined. I'm now a proud member of an indoor gym. Will exercising indoors help the allergies? Maybe.

There's more - fun stuff - regular stuff - living life stuff. And I miss you Blogland. Oh how I do.

Kiss kiss.

Uptown Girl

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

al fresco

You should totally see my tan. I was looking at my arms a minute ago and they looked uber tan. I got a little excited.

Can you believe the summer is right around the corner?

My hair has been believing it the last couple days - getting all frizzy and wavy in the humidity. It's a beautiful thing. That is a lie...

I really have spent a lot of time outside lately - running, walking around, shopping, and just reveling in the warmth. You could say I'm pretty outdoorsy. I like eating al fresco. That is, if al fresco means eating outside. And, just to clarify: I like eating outside unless it is super humid, in which case I prefer air conditioning. Oh, I also hate mosquitoes, so if there are bugs around I also prefer the indoors. Please take note.

Serio though, I can't wait til summer vacay when I can sit poolside or on the beach and have zero responsibilities to speak of. I'm not a student, but having the whole summer off is sort of my fantasy. What are your fave outdoor activities and summer fantasies? Summer outdoor Beach Boys concerts? Flying kites? Ultimate frisbee golf league? Now, don't get crazy... but do tell.

Uptown Girl

ps- I was sitting in a shadow. My arms aren't actually tan. It was just an illusion. Too bad, so sad.