The update is that I'm on a dating hiatus. Partly by choice and partly by accepting the situation for what it is. Yes, I already updated this status, I suppose, when I told you I ended my online dating career. I was utterly fed up with online dating and frustrated by my own obsession with it. I mean... come on. Who wants to hear all that "why didn't he call?" and "maybe he'll call tonight" and "oh what a d-bag" all the time, over and over in your own head? Not me. It was at the point where I was annoying myself and, well, it was pretty annoying. Believe me.
And now, on my hiatus, I have a clear
My mancation* is all that it's cracked up to be. I know all the answers to all the silly little "He's Just Not That Into You" questions. The answer is.... NO. No he's no calling tonight. Read: I don't need to check my phone a zillion times and get disappointed a zillion times. It's freeing, chillaxing, and calmer.
Like this character, I'm repeating a mantra. "I'm not the exception, I'm the rule". As you would imagine, this mantra is quite convoluted for an Uptown Girl to wrap her brain around.
I'm so used to being a special, unique, and exceptional Uptown Girl, that it is a lot of work to convince me that "I'm the rule". And that "Men Love Bitches". That's another one I need to work on... being more of a bi-otch to the men I date.
Do you see?? See what happens? Not 2 paragraphs ago, I was telling you how calm I am. And a moment later I'm already deciding what I need to work on and tell myself and how to behave so these men (who, I can readily admit, are the biggest idiots and douches out there) will like me! This is problem. I don't want to have to play some stupid manipulative game.
I need this mancation. A well deserved break from acting "approachable yet aloof". That's hard work. I want to just let my hair down. Or, more like, put it in a ponytail. I want to be myself and hang with the people who can see and love that self. And that is all.
*according to the world wide web, mancation is a vacay for men. according to me, it is a vacay from them.