Wednesday, May 20, 2009

sick day

Yes, yes I am home sick today. I think my head may explode. I think I have the swine flu. That's right. You heard me. This may just be my last post. If I don't die from the swine flu, the awful daytime tv shows may kill me.

Things I have learned (been subjected to) on tv today, thus far:

1- Patrick Swayze is still alive.

2-Regis Philbin sometimes takes 1/2 an Ambien to sleep. The following morning he is senile.

3-Adam Lambert wears eyeliner and nail polish and dyes his hair.

4-Barbara Walters thinks she has "more information than anybody". Yeah, she said that referring to American Idol. And I thought my 14 yr old sister was Idol's greatest fan. Nope, its Barb Walters.

5-Shawn Johnson won Dancing With The Stars because she is cute.

6-Martha Stewart loves flowers. They are charming.

7-Martha thinks that "all children" love meringues.

8-If you cannot have a good time in Chicago, you cannot have a good time.

9-Drew Carey is on The Price is Right.

10-AARP will give you a free calculator if you request info on their car insurance. You have to be at least 50.

11-Start Trek is a fully loaded epic adventure.

12-There is a woman who sleeps with cheetahs in her bed. 2 of them. They lick her face. They know how to open the door. She reads them stories.

13-Glenn Beck has no problem crying.

14-Brenda Marshall left a guy at the altar in 90210. If I could find Shannon Doherty and stand next to her at all times, people might think I'm black (or at least very tan).

15-Jennie Garth has aged really well.

16-Hilshire Farm and Marshalls/TJ Max commercials are the only ones worth watching.


Liza said...

what is meringues?

wow... Daytime TV sounds fabulous compared to working! Thanks so much for keeping me informed about all of these important topics!!

Lovey said...

Hilarious!!!! I loved every minute of it....

But seriously?? Please confirm that you do NOT have swine flu, your followers need to know they will continue to be entertained by your words of wisdom and amazing insights on life, NYC and TV during the day.