inappropriate behavior

Please be advised that it is completely inappropriate to leave an Uptown Girl on hold. This should really be common sense and common knowledge. You don't put VIPs on hold. For any reason. Unless the VIP has asked to be put on hold because he or she needs a break from your voice. Barring that, just do not do it.

I have waited on hold so much this morning that I've decided to abandon my workplace at 5pm today not to return until early next year.

Make that early next decade.

Monday.

Also I had scheduled vacay days.

But I will be sticking it to the man nonetheless.

I would possibly approve of a hold system in which I choose my own music. Or if someone came on the line to tell me a story or provide some juicy gossip during the wait. [This idea is **Uptown Girl APPROVED**]

Happy Day for Alice

As the blogger program is being naughty again and is somehow preventing me from leaving a birthday message over on Alice's blog...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Here's to being another year older more FABULOUS!
The staff here at Uptown Girl Diary would like to wish Alice many more happy healthy years of life and love!
*keep owning it*

Oh yeah and Alice- I made you this cake. No big deal. And not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I have to admit that it is pretty D-lish. Wish you were here to try a slice! But alas... I guess I'll have to eat more than my share like every other Thanksgiving-Birthday-and-Christmas treat.

xoxo,

Uptown Girl

say goodbye to 2009 and Creepy McCreeperson

This year simply flew past me like my private jet flying to a tropical resort with the jet stream. Ok so I don't own a PJ, but that is just because I am so green. You could say that I barely ever fly and when I do it is economy. I am an environmentalist. Obvi. It is so chic to be green these days that I even recycle my coffee cup sleeves.

Speaking of coffee... did I tell you that I no longer get my morning cup o' joe from Creepy McCreeperson? Well I don't. Shortly after I posted on the yummy coffee I get from his coffee cart there was a terrible incident. Shockingly it had nothing to do with the creepiness of the coffee-man. I was sitting at my desk, drinking my coffee, down to the last little bit, when to my surprise something fell into my mouth along with my sip of coffee. I immediately spit it into the trash to discover some sort of paper. It was disgusting I tell you. Of course I could imagine worse, but still it was icky. The next day, I told McCreeperson about the incident and he said something to the effect of "yeah sometimes the filter breaks".

I had loved Creepy and his coffee so much that I got it a couple more times before deciding I was through. Even thought I didn't get any more filter in my cup or mouth, the coffee had this grossgusting filtery taste to it. Maybe it was all in my head. Whatever, if you sipped some filter and didn't know what it was in your mouth and got all freaked out by it, you'd taste it every time too. So I broke up with Creepy. Technically I just walk down a different block now and find coffee at random.

But when I see him again I'll get the guts up to tell him that I simply hate his coffee now, but that if ever I want tea I'll be sure to go to his cart as there is no filter involved. Or something like that. What would you say?

spotted...

Quote from E-News. December 24, 2009.
"Spotted, Uptown Girl in New Jersey. This photo was taken today of the world-famous Uptown Girl. An insider remarks 'I saw her canoodling with Eduardo Verastegui' [of the movie Bella and the Brad Pitt of Mexico]."
Now, friends, there is nothing that gets my goat like bad reporting. This photo was not taken today! That's right. When the papa-razzi gets the story all wrong it just kills me. This photo was from a chance meeting back in October (see here to read all about why I didn't kiss him back). No canoodling. Come on, I would've told you about any canoodling. Who are these quote un-quote "insiders" anyway? I am outraged. OUT.RAGED.

Truth: I am in New Jersey for the Christmas holiday. Celebrating with the fam. Fo shizzle my nizzle lemon drizzle. Creating bremories with my little brothers and sisters who all happen to be taller than me. Except for Bina, my youngest sister is short and that's why she is my fave. Short and sweet. Making me look tall. Meanwhile my youngest brother is dressed like an elf- complete with a hat that sings. How come the stalker-razzi doesn't take photos of these presh family moments? Right, because that would be too invasive and also real life. No one wants to hear about real life these days. At least not over at E-News I guess.

Anywho. Love from New Jersey.

xoxo,
Uptown Girl

my 1st bday gift

If you remember correctly - come on, I know you memorize my posts - back in October I had a terrible day at work and wrote all about the craziness here. I then posted the following picture and said, "I would really like to get this mug and keep it on my desk. Just looking at it makes me smile and cackle softly. And I imagine the mug will come filled with KitKats and M&Ms."
For the record, in case you were wondering, quoting myself is just as exhilarating as it's cracked up to be. Maybe more. You really must try it.

My loving lovable aunt who follows this lil ole blogizzle took that bold unveiled hint and ran a marathon with it. Back in November, she gave me not one but two of the mugs I mentioned as an early bday present. Both filled with M&Ms and KitKats. Is that not the most thoughtful gift? Are you totally jealous that you weren't first in the long and growing line of great gift giving?
Yes. This is an actual true-to-life picture of one of the mugs. I took it myself. It is not from Google Images. Take your time. Stare. Drool. Gawk.

As is clearly fitting, I have the most fab followers and aunts ever. E-ver. You know I'm right.

And while we are on the topic of my birthday, you should know that I am ending the celebrations early in order to make room for Christmas. That's right, I am graciously giving the next part of December to JC. The Big Man Upstairs. King of Kings. Lord of Lords. Prince of Peace. It is now time for Christmas miracles. Proceed.

bday recap

Oh hi there blogland!

Yikes- as I was typing that first poignant line, the "clever greeting" if you will, I remembered that I was cooking rice on the stove. I made the rice, and the water was all magically disappeared - as is supposed to happen - but the rice was a bit too al dente for my taste so I added a little mas aguita and turned the stove back on. But not the timer.

I think you know where this is going... but you'd be wrong because I didn't burn the rice or overcook it. It is perfect and delectable. You know how I do. And that last sentence is meant to be read in a southern slash obnoxious slash Tasha Mack accent. If you don't know what I'm talking about then please refer to the plethora of re-runs of The Game on BET. And then return to me a little wiser and with more catch phrases.

Where was I? Yes, the 29th anniversary of my birth occurred on Friday, Dec 18th. I am officially still in my 20s but somehow feel older. Also more fabulous, but that should go without saying. Probably it is my "wise beyond my years" talking when I say this, but women are just amazing beautiful creatures. Wise beyond my years, right??

Well this birthday I feel (I use the present tense because I am continuing to celebrate my birthday for as long as I can drag it out get away with it) so blessed and so loved, especially by the women in my life: my girlfriends, my sisters, my aunts, my mom. See Own It for an example.

Let me break it down for you. Lovey and I both took the day off from work. We lounged, we worked out, we ate, we shopped, we gabbed, we gossiped. You know- we had a girls' day out. Then my girlfriends treated me to tea and scones at Alice's Tea Cup aka The Girliest Place in NYC. I wore fairy wings and was sprinkled with fairy dust. It was fantastigorical.

Fast forward.

On Saturday, I had a family brunch here on the Upper Eastside complete with my mom and my brother who moved back from India just in time for my bday. And that night there was a blizzard. When I say blizzard I mean TONS o' snow. Several inches. Fluffy. White. Windy. The city shut down. But on the Upper Eastside it was on like Rae Dawn Chong. We pulled on our boots. We trekked out into the wilderness of NY in snow. We hiked down to the bar along with several other brave party-goers to celebrate the holiday: my birthday. It was a blast and I felt so very loved by everyone who ventured out of their cozy apartments on such a snowy and unsafe night! Thanks friends!

On Sunday evening my aunts took me out to dinner at a delish restaurant. As I'm about to eat my leftovers plus rice I will sign off and enjoy the delectable goodness on my plate. But before I do, I just want to thank you all for your happy birthday wishes and of course the gift of your presence in my life as I blog. Just one request: if you could get me a laptop for a combined bday&Christmas gift that'd be great. kthanksbye.

;-)

To someone special: you know who you are.

*wink*

*wink wink*

emoti-wink ;-)

Man-ifesto

For the 1-2 men who may or maynot be reading my girly blog (you know you love me)...
please see this ad.

And the rest of you ladies should check it out too because I loved it. You will too. Obvi.

I don't care if you actually purchase anything from the company. Whatevskis. I just like the message. Because I like men. So sue me.

Oh yeah, in case you haven't clicked the link yet, I should tell you that it is a bit controversial and un-pc. It is Docker's Man-ifesto if you must know. Check it out and don't forget to stop back here to share your thoughts on manhood, men wearing the pants, and the lack of cute men to ogle on the Docker's website.

ps- my favorite line is:

"WE NEED MEN TO PUT DOWN THE PLASTIC FORK, STEP AWAY FROM THE SALAD BAR AND UNTIE THE WORLD FROM THE TRACKS OF COMPLACENCY. IT'S TIME TO GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY."

my real age

I have been so busy since my return to the good ole USofA. It is unreal I tell you. Unreal. Ok it is real. The life of an uptown girl like me is just non-stop. I should've expected to return to a myriad of social invitations but my mind was stuck on Bollywood I suppose. Can you blame me? No.

Well, keeping me from blogging this weekend (other than my usual lack of regular computer access) was dinner&drinks with the girls on Friday night, attending a baby shower on Saturday, sadly skipping a bday party on Saturday night because I was so tired after the baby shower (is it just me or is it tiring to watch other ppl open gifts?), and co-hostessing a pot-luck dinner on Sunday. Whirl-wind-week-end.

And that brings me to my birthday week. It really crept up on me so fast and I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed. The anticipation is always the best part of these things you know. I'd rather anticipate turning 22 rather than actually turn 22. I mean, 29.

We're close friends, you and I, I'll level with you. I tell everyone I'm turning 22. But since I know you can keep a secret, know this info already, and respect me more for my wisdom and grace, you get to know my real age. This Friday I will turn 29 for the first time. Probably the first of many years that I tell people I'm 29. Even once I'm owning it as a 30-something, I'll still like to see if people believe I'm younger. Obvi. I smoked cigarettes for years just to get carded. I could smile for days knowing that the bodega man wasn't sure if I was over 18. Ahh, good times, good times. Now that I'm a happy non-smoker though I try to find new ways to get my laughs and create situations in which to be inadvertently complimented. It is a cherished past-time of mine. Be sure to pass on any tips or suggestions in this venture. It would be most appreciated by yours truly.

xoxo,

Bollywood Queen Uptown Girl

wish list

I'd like to post on a topic that is not India-related, but no worries because I have more to tell you about my trip.

The matter at hand is my Christmas Wish List aka Your Christmas Shopping List! Because it is that time of year and I know you're dying to know what you can get for me. It is only natural to have these feelings. And, of course, I'm here to answer that burning question...

First, watch this video that I told you to watch on Own It a couple days ago:


Next click this link to donate my Christmas gift to Charity:Water and you will join the uber-importante team unofficially known as: " Uptown Girl VIP Well-Builders: Special Operations". You're welcome in advance for this unique opportunity to serve those who in need while making me happy all.in.one.fell.swoop.

Like killing two birds with one stone. Like wearing a diamond on each hand. Like eating pie a la mode. You get the picture. It is a no-brainer.

If you've already done my Christmas shopping, it would be acceptable for you to donate to Charity:Water as my birthday gift instead. Uptown Girl Approved.


ps- birthday countdown is at T minus 8 days and counting (but I'm sure you knew that already).

thank you for asking.

I went to India for two reasons. First, to visit my brother who lives there. Second, to see the country/that side of the world for probably the only time in my long fabulous life.

After complimenting my kurta, one of my smart 33 followers asked what that lil brother of mine is doing in India anyway. Good question Colleen. Mostly missing me. Obvi.

But, other than that, he is working. Microfinance to be exact. Something about giving small loans to small companies in developing countries. In laywoman's terms, my bro is a "Banker to the Poor". Full time, serving Indian communities for profit.

Lil bro moves back to the home country (aka NYC) on my birthday. Happy birthday to me! His girlfriend has been missing him this last year and a half, so don't go getting any ideas ladies.

At www.kiva.org, from the comfort of your own couch, you too can become a banker to the poor and loan $20+ to companies in the third world. You hand mouse-pick the company. If you wanna be like me (who doesn't?) you will click the link and give a loan. And don't worry, you get the money back... it is a loan not a donation.

If a donation is what you're after, check out the link for charity:water on the right as well as a great holiday-giving video entitled "Advent Conspiracy" at our very own Own it.

Back to India. Here's a tidbit to satisfy your curiosity for a hot minute.

Did I tell you about the bobble? In India it is more than common to move your head like a bobble-head-doll rather than nodding.

"Do you have bottled water so I don't get the runs?"
Head bobble.

"100 rupees!? I'll give you 70."
Bobble bobble.

"Am I the most glittery and sparkley Uptown Girl that you've ever seen?"
Double bobble.

Practice this...

Incredible India

"And to think these days
men give flowers and chocolates
to their wives."
www.incredibleindia.com


The Taj was amazing.
India was incredible.
And my brother's apartment is elegance.

Literally. His apt doesn't have a number, it has a name. Elegance. Very fitting.

That reminds me, I'm thinking of renaming my apartment... Glamour. Thoughts?

quick bite

I'm still here in India and just wanted to thank everyone for the kind comments while I'm away.

So here is another quick list to give you an idea of what I've been up to these last few days. My brother lives in South India, but as I'm an Uptown Girl he knew that he should show me the touristy parts of the north (sort of like uptown, but mostly not).

I'd like to call this list "Stuff White People Like":

• The Taj. Yeah, the amazing Taj Mahal. Number 1 wonder of the world (at least that's what our guide told me.
• Elephant ride on my bro's b-day while wearing kitchy Maharajah hats. Think Moulin Rouge. Think Ewan McGregor. No, he didn't wear a Maharajah hat, but how can you think of Moulin Rouge and not Ewan??
  
• Camel ride.
• Forts and Palaces. We stayed overnight at Neemrana Fort Palace which was once... wait for it... a fort palace. It is now a "Non-hotel Hotel" with a pool, camel rides, and zip-lines.
  
• Yummy food with little to no hotness. I bring to the table all the hotness needed. You know.

More later... gtg eat Indian food. Here they just call it food.

you are invited

The Uptown Girl National Holiday is formally celebrated on December 18th (the anniversary of my birth), but some choose to dedicate the entire month of December to my honor. And, frankly, I have no problem with this practice. I encourage it.

With that in mind, you are cordially invited to start celebrating my birth-month.

Please RSVP ASAP and use the above stamp to make it official.

I'm still on vacay in India and will check for all of your stamped replies at the end of the week when I get back to the home country! You know you miss me.

xoxo,

Uptown Girl