Thursday, July 9, 2009

things I think are lamespice.

Busy Bee Lauren did a post with the same name. twin posting. sacot.

and then she did it. she requested that her readers write their own posts about lamespiciness. as the faithful blogger that I try to be am, I came up with my uptown list of spices. I hope not to offend you but probably will.

Here we go.

1- Crackberry Blackberries

This one is twofold. Part of me hates them bc ppl are constantly using their Blackberry and ignoring the person they are with. me. And I will not be ignored. Ask anyone. This constant usage can be anything from email, looking stuff up, texting, bbm-ing, or my new fave: playing a game. That's right. It gets under my skin when I'm hanging out with someone and they appear to be busy on the berry but rly they are ignoring my company to play a game on there. That is why it is crack. It is addicting like a watered down drug (in case you are from the dark ages and hadn't figured that out yet).

SECRET: The other part of me hates the Blackberry bc I am jealous. Bc, serio?! How cool would it be to access the internet from wherever I'm at on the Upper Eastside? Or even if I ventured out of my elitest hood to explore the rest of the world- there is a GPS thingy on there. That's right. My cell phone has lamespice games and they're not worth playing. But if I had a crackberry I'd play all day long. I'd ignore everyone and everything to get that high Brick-Breaker score. It's all about pride.

2- Peeling

You know what I mean. I get a tan. I look all golden, glowy, and delicious.

But then it happens. All of a sudden I'm peeling all over like a snake molting. Like a dog shedding. Like nastiness. Itchy. And it starts on my shoulders and back, so I'm just like "ugh... this is the worst". It spreads. Watch out bc all of a sudden my chest and face are peeling off. And now I look like something out of Poltergeist... or E.T. ... and my brothers call me The Predator. Rood.

I HATE PEELING. and it hates me back.

3- Bank Holidays

You know those holidays when "everyone" else is off but you have to work? I will list a couple... Columbus Day, Veteran's Day, Good Friday, Flag Day? Hrmmm... I know there are a few anyways.

Moral of the story: if you have a vacay day, I want that vacay day too. Done.

4- Waxing

I mean, not denying that this Uptown Girl waxes as needed... but oww ouch eek oww.

5- Gladiator Sandals

Ok ok I've said my piece already. I know. But serio?? How can you wear those things on your body? I don't like them. I think they are ugly. And they confuse me. But I do love Russell Crowe in the movie version of this sandal.

I'm sure there are loads more stuffs that I loathe, that are spicier than lamespice. But, alas, today is FRIDAY.


So I am constitutionally incapable of continuing this list. Today I'm mostly full of positivity, wildflowers, butterflies, and hopes of Magic Hat. And I'd be happy to share.


Amber W. said...

I totally agree on the gladiator sandals! There's no outfit that benefits from them. BTW, I'm subscribing to your feed 'cause I want to see your post on the CSI guy. He's my fave. :-)

Busy Bee Lauren said...

I freakin love you.

Have I ever told you I love reading your blog? I imagine that I am cool like in New York, being awesome.

Anyway...Gladiator shoes! Ugh! Hate them. I hate the crackberries too, for the same reasons you do...and I secretly wish I had one.

Uptown Girl said...

welcome Uptown Amber and Lauren!

Amber- don't worry I will def get on that post soon, I already started researching and CSI guy's name is George Ead.

Lauren- you know i <3 your blogizzle(s). You are the cool one with your 10,000 followers! But, yes I am awesome too. Glad we're clear on that.
As Queen of NYC I declare that you are an honorary New York Busy Bee.

uhski said...

Umm so I am following you now because I want to pretend my life is cool like yours and you make me laugh and procrastinate doing homework. For that, you are worthy of followness. Anyways, I too hate crackberries (but ever so secretly want one) and peeling. Good list. =]

Alice said...

I'm addicted to my crackberry...addicted I tell you! So I laughed/snorted when I saw your number one. Gladiator sandals..EWE! Why? Why would people where them if they aren't gladiators? oh and waxing sux. I get waxed mind you..but it sux all the same. See i was a model once for a bikini wax...sorry TMI and we just met. :)

Lo the Unicorn said...

Not a fan. I don't care how cool it is or that everyone has it. I WILL NOT CONFORM!!

Mary said...

Maria, I loved this post. But just wanted to say, don't hate on those of us who get all of those fabulous holidays off... Its one of the fabulous things about being a Fed! I mean, they do have my fingerprints in the national database, so its not like I can get away with much else!

Uptown Girl said...

Mary- all I have to say to you is that I am jealous. Fo shizzle my nizzle lemon drizzle.
Bump that.