Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Swoonless Tuesday

Hello my public. Uptown Fandom at large please hear this:
(*uptown disclaimer at bottom of post*)

I am not posting a swoon today.

No hot steamy pic to drool over. Nope. Not happening.

So (Lovey & June) if that is the only reason we are friends... well I just don't know what to tell you. Maybe I should start by listing better reasons for you to read my blogizzle in addition to my wanna-be-swoons:

-I have interesting insights into pretentious new york city living.

-I condescend to associate with you online.

-I am amazing.

-You can live vicariously thru my high-class world of taxis and mani-pedis and beer champagne.

-I come up with new Uptownese Urban Slang that you should be studying daily.

-I think I'm hilarious and you should think so, too.

-I practice the fine art of being a virtual snob and debutante.

-I am fetch. Everything about me is fetch and fabulous.

-You know you love me.

-I will one day be Empress and rule the world. You may be in running to be one of my Ladies in Waiting if you play your cards right.

I will gently suggest that you soak up all of my insightful posts and be grateful they exist.

And if you need a swoon real real bad... well, June? Are you going to post one for us sometime in the near future? Because everyone should know that I only post wanna-be-swoons. What do I mean by wanna-be?? Thank you for asking. My little swoony swoons are little bits of drivel that I post from time to time to help fill the void until June 'The Swoon' Cleaver is back in business. Her swoons are on a different level. If you don't believe me you should just click her link on my sidebar. Obvi. But you should know that June, too is deeper than her swoon-abilities. She has a lot to teach us all about this great big world, about being a mom, and about the effects of beer.

Ok Lovey & June, be my guest and post your own swoonable pics. Because I can only spend so much time searching for said pics while drooling at work. I will prob post them tomorrow... time will tell.
I hope that you will come back to my blog for me and my hottness rather than for the hotties I post. They are just a bonus. Fo shizzle my nizzle lemon drizzle. And please, don't make me cut you.

*DISCLAIMER: Have you heard of pms? Pre-, Post-, or Participating- Madness Syndrome. Right, well I may or may not be operating on an influx of hormones given to me by this Madness. Go ahead and guess. Make my day.*


Lovey said...

I will wait for the hormone levels to balance and THEN demand my swoon. I love you for you, and all your uptown fabulousness- but serio? bring on the boys!

june cleaver said...

sigh... say no more my little PMS grasshopper. I understand completely as I have just come off the throws of pre manslaughter syndrome and a CLEANSE!

Yeah, now I have strep throat. Freakin cleanse. I want my money back for all those organic-smanic lemons.

I will one day swoon again-it may have to be under a new name, new blog and new alias as I am incognito at the present moment for reasons described in paragraph 1 of this comment.

The new blog may just be called "June Cleaver After..."


mucho grande taco hell love,

Uptown Girl said...

June- strep throat?? yikes! That is horrible. I've been feeling sorry for myself with this little cold I've got.
If you start a new blog def let me know (via email??)! I do know how to keep a secret *wink*. And I think it is a good plan...
I won't even tell Lovey here. although she would be very jealous. muahaha.
#1 Grasshopper

dulwich divorcee said...

Hi Uptown, just popped in from London, loving your NYC glamour. I don't even know what 'fetch' means. I have so much to learn! Lovely to meet you

Uptown Girl said...

Welcome to NYC Dulwich Divorcee! I will try to teach you all sorts of silly words like fetch (you must watch the movie 'Mean Girls' for that one)!