I could never be your wife. Please stop sending me the weekly roses.
I don't even like red roses as much as white, or pink, or peach. Obvi, if you knew me better you would know this. The problem is that you want to hop into a full-on relationship on the first date. Or group-date. It's not fair to me. Or to anyone.
Stop telling me to "open up" to you. Again, I barely know you and you are totally dating 5 other women. Why the heck would I tell you my deeper than deep and dark as night (night in Montana, not in NYC bc that isn't dark at all) secrets? And what pray tell are your secrets anyway? I haven't heard of you opening up to any of the other girls or skanks.
So that's it. I'm out. And for the record, maybe you should marry Vienna. She told you all her secrets and cried and also she thinks you are a hunk in flannel. Isn't that what you are looking for in a girl?
Best of luck in your search.
Sincerely but sans the x and the o,
ps- for a great re-cap of last night's episode click here.