Friday, September 25, 2009

cupid we don't need you now, be on your way

A few days ago, I received an email with a link to this blog post, "Marry a man who loves you more than you love him". I finally read the post this morning and want to share my thoughts. If you have time read the post and let me know what you think.

I think it makes a lot of sense. Personally, I hope to eventually find a balance thru my scientific method of trial and error. A strong connection with a cute uptown man who has a strong and admirable character. AKA it can't be just the passionate connection with a dude lacking in character, nor can it be a relationship where the man has a crap ton of moral character but there is like and not love. Do you follow?

My fave part of the post is when the author said:
"A relationship that starts at the peak with an all-consuming passion has a higher risk of burning out quickly. It is my belief that a relationship that starts on a strong foundation of moderate love, mutual respect, shared beliefs and tolerance has a greater potential of growing better each day…just like fine wine.

As the saying goes... I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow."
[also pseudo lyrics to a good song, also my title, obvi]

I like the quote bc I do think that the fiery passion can burn out and so it is not enough to stand alone. A strong foundation to stand on is a necessity. But you also need to love each other and each other's personality traits even without the passion. Head and heart must be balanced. With all of this in place then yes it prob works well if the man love the woman a wee bit more than she loves him.

Ok so what do you think?? What do you want and/or what works for you?

Sans beard, this is what I want in my future...
<3 UG

ps- remind me to tell you why I can't be with a bearded man. it makes a good story. one of those "you will laugh about this one day" stories.


Someone Who Knows... said...

My grandmother used to say the same exact thing to me-to marry someone who loves me more than I love him... but my grandfather also left my grandmother and broke her heart-so in her case, she was the one who loved more... which in my opinion is a pretty good argument as to NOT marry someone who loves you more-sounds like there may be pain in someone's future.

I say marry someone with whom you want to give as much as you get, kiss as much as you are kissed, make laugh as much as you laugh, and seek out their opinion as much as you can openly offer your thoughs to.

Ain't love grand?

Uptown Girl said...

Someone Who Knows- I like your 2nd paragraph a lot, it is good advice! i've only ever been mismatched where either i am the one in pain bc i care more, OR i am not interested enough!

all about the balance...

ps- welcome uptown!

Out of My League said...

I liked the ideas of marrying with permanency in mind rather than passion--but any relationship is like caring for a fire.

It has to be something controlled; you DO need a spark of passion at some point to ignite it all, but it's also going to totally fizzle out if you don't fuel it. And that's not a man's total responsibility nor is it all up to the lady of the relationship. At some points, each person is going to have to leave the warm fuzzy feeling, march into the cold, and find some more wood to burn. But then you get to enjoy it together :)

rita said...

Um, yeah. Don't make the mistake I did and marry the first one who asked, the one who also fell in lust with the "housekeeper" and wanted to move her in with us.

And don't make the mistake of dating the exact same kind of man until you're 52 and really really really tired of that shit.

Then decide that you'll never ever date another man/person as long as you live, then put your profile on Yahoo personals, and find the love of your life in less than a month.

june cleaver said...

Rita... I just love you so much sister!

Uptown Girl said...

Rita- I've been working on making all my mistakes in marriage now so i can get them out of the way.

I've got my 1st out of the way and now trying to get it right for the next few marriages tho (this is why Liz Taylor is my rolemodel, remember? if at first you don't succeed, try try again!)

Please keep the advice coming. Yahoo personals you say...

Uptown Girl said...

June- hi there, i don't understand twitter. kthanksbye.

june cleaver said...

you have to be smarter than the twit.

It took me a while too..

Uptown Girl said...

ok, yes I am smarter than the twit (and i will now call it 'the twit' for always, stealing that from you June). But I don't see what is so fun about it. I guess I'm also funner than the twit... and i make up words like 'funner'.

why tweet when I can just comment endlessly on my blog?

june cleaver said...

I have only found one twit that I really like...

She makes me laugh, and as far as I am concerned... that is all that really matters in life.

Alice said...

I've been pondering on this post for a while...I have no clever witty comment this time sorry. :D

I think you have to marry someone who loves you just as much as you love them. there has to be a balance. I am crazy in love with my husband and I know he feels the same way. I never thought I could love him more than I did on our wedding day. Silly me. I love that man more and more each day. We balance each other out. I know I drive him crazy sometimes...and he can piss me off like no other...but he also makes me happier then no other. :)

there have been bumps in the road for sure...but it's those times we hold on tighter. 10 years of marriage later and the fire is still burning.

Plus...I told him if he hurts me "I will cut chu!" haha! kidding!! kinda!