Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Lovey Says

Today I will begin a new blog feature for your viewing pleasure. You obvi know the topic already just by reading the title... but I will elaborate.
In February of this year I took a major risk and left the peace and quiet of my own studio apartment in order to move in with Liza (my little sister) and Lovey (my sister from another mother). We were really excited to try living together, but nervous at the same time. Luckily, it turned out to be A-MAZE-ING. Instead of just living in some small city apartment alone, I now live in a homey home with my homies. Sweetness.

Lovey is one of the most loving and lovable besties an Uptown Girl could ask for, and one of the loveliest roomies ever. And she gets my sense of humor. And she would like the opportunity to contribute some of her Uptown thoughts and queries to the blogizzle. Fo shizzle.

And I have graciously agreed to post some of her Uptown thoughts here and there. From time to time. I am giving Lovey the chance to feel as important as I do. So, you're welcome Lovey. After all, she is an Uptown Girl, too, and should therefore hone her self-importance and develop her skills of condescension. Don't you agree?

On the subway on Halloween (our limo driver had the night off). I went as Facebook. Lovey was a Ladybug.

Liza: I know you must be feeling awfully left out right about now, and I want to be sensitive to that when I say: it is not all about you. Jk jk, but more on you later.

The topic Lovey has asked me to address today is that of Upper East Side (UES) dog owners. These are Lovey's thoughts:

"I think you should write about how shitty the UES is- literally. out of all the people in NYC the UES community is the wealthiest and they DO NOT pick up after their dogs. I was walking to work today and there was shit schmeered all over the sidewalk. what do they do? mush it around to piss off the poor people that dont live in their neighborhood?? its really irritating and unacceptable from people who 'claim' to be classy!!!!!"

My thoughts are quite different from Lovey's however:

I mean, is it completely "irritating and unacceptable" to have to look where I am walking at all times to be sure to avoid stepping in something disgusting and acquiring a stank that will not leave the bottom of my shoe for days? Of course. But I do not blame the dog owners. I don't want to have to clean up after a dog either. I mean- eww, gross-gusting. The problem is not the owner, it is the dog-walker. Let's get serious... the wealthy VIPs are simply not out and about walking their precious pups themselves, why would they? They are paying mega-bucks to have some everyman do the nasty job for them. I therefore blame the UES dog-walker community for the problem. They are either not properly picking up after their multitude of charges... or they are taking too many vacay days and leaving the yuppy dog-owners to attempt to walk their own dogs... and we can't expect the owners to pooper scoop, can we?? They are way too important for such menial tasks. As am I... as am I.

As always, I like to get a take on what my readers think about the topic at hand. Do you agree with Lovey? Does the blame lie with the collective UES community dog owners? Or do you agree with my views? As Uptown Girls, Lovey and I both have lots of opinions re: UES life and, from now on, you will have the distinct honor of not only reading but also commenting on these VIPs (Very Important Positions). You're welcome in advance.


Alice said...

I think it's the dogs fault...if they are so wealthy why don't they go to dog potty training school?

rita said...

Amen. Little dogs can be litter-box trained. If cats can be taught to use and flush a toilet, why can't someone's genius Yorkie do the same?

It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Yorkies' eyes bulge because they're so overbred that there's no room left in their skulls for their brains......

(Don't yell at me. I've owned two Yorkies and adore them. I'm just being practical about their (lack of) intelligence.)

katy said...

As a former UES dog owner/walker/pooper-cleaner-upper, I think those who have dogs have to love them enough to do the dirty.

But, I agree with Jerry Seinfeld: if aliens came down to observe, they would definitely get the [right] impression that the dogs are the ones in charge.